


Sugar

by mean_whale



Series: Heatwave AU [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Break Up, Crush at First Sight, Discussion of Abortion, Fantasizing, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Oral Sex, Rape Aftermath, Secret Crush, thoughts of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 11:25:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6516577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mean_whale/pseuds/mean_whale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sugawara's side of the story.</p><p>Suga and Daichi seem to have the perfect relationship, but everything's not always what it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Want to Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend reading the previous parts of the series before reading this, but I guess technically you could also read this as a standalone.

Daichi’s hand was sliding on Suga’s skin, his fingers brushing a nipple on their way down. Suga breathed in his alpha’s scent that had always made his entire body tingle with want. He opened his mouth to a quiet gasp, and Daichi’s lips pressed on his, their breaths mingling as they kissed and Daichi’s hand found Suga’s dripping cock. Suga moaned quietly, his lips pressing closer to Daichi’s mouth, and the alpha smiled.

“Daichi,” Suga said with a breathless voice, breaking the kiss. “I want you.”

“I know, sugar,” Daichi said and licked his way into Suga’s mouth.

Suga spread his legs wider and opened his mouth for Daichi to explore. The small licks on his lips and tongue were intoxicating, and Suga’s body was on fire. His hole was dripping slick down his crack and onto the bed, and Daichi’s hand was still stroking him, so close to the slick entrance but too far away.

“Daichi,” Suga breathed and lifted his hips in desperation.

The alpha smiled and peppered small kisses down Suga’s neck. His cock was lying heavy against Suga’s thigh, slowly dripping pre-come on his smooth skin. Daichi let go of Suga’s small cock and reached behind it to slips his fingers between the slick ass cheeks to caress around Suga’s entrance. Suga whined with the feeling, his hips bucking towards Daichi’s fingers and his arms wrapped around the alpha’s broad shoulders for support. He felt like he was falling, melting into the bed, and his alpha was the only thing keeping him above the surface.

Slowly Daichi let a single finger push past Suga’s tight rim, and Suga moaned. He wanted more, but he knew that Daichi couldn’t be persuaded. His body ached with the need to be filled, but Daichi was slowly stroking him with the one finger. Daichi latched his mouth on one of Suga’s pink nipples and sucked. Suga whined, sliding his hands up and down Daichi’s arms.

When Daichi finally pushed his cock in Suga’s wet hole, the omega closed his eyes and whimpered. He saw stars and was already close to the edge.

”You’re so beautiful,” Daichi said and stroked Suga’s hair as his hips worked his cock deeper inside the omega’s body.

”More, Daichi,” Suga pleaded. ”I want more.”

Daichi didn’t accelerate his thrusts, but he pressed his open mouth on Suga’s neck to lick and suck on the skin. Suga’s entire body was wrapping around Daichi’s strong frame.

”Harder,” Suga gasped, earning a chuckle and a soft kiss on his temple.

”I don’t want to hurt you,” the alpha murmured.

Frustration didn’t help Suga get to the edge, but he was so close he could only focus on trying to get there. He let out a broken sob as Daichi continued with his gentle thrusts. He reached for his cock with a trembling hand and the slight squeeze sent him over the edge. His release spurted out between their bodies, and Suga had tears in his eyes as he finally came.

It didn’t take long for Daichi to find his release too, when Suga’s ass tightened around him, and his knot spread Suga’s hole to the limit. Daichi slumped to the side, pulling Suga’s entire body with him, and they lay together, breathing heavily, sweat sticking their skins together.

“You’re amazing,” Daichi said with a tender smile and swept a strand of hair away from Suga’s forehead.

“So are you,” Suga said with a quiet giggle.

“I’m so happy you’re mine,” Daichi said. “You make me happy, sugar.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Suga said and pressed a gentle kiss on Daichi’s lips.

When Daichi was gone, Suga thought about his warmth, and how safe he felt in the arms of his alpha. He smiled to himself thinking of Daichi’s strong body and calm behaviour. Although, he had to admit, sometimes he wished Daichi would let go. He especially wished that when he was in heat, aching to be touched everywhere, to be taken by the strongest alpha of them all, to be used and knotted so many times his ass got sore, but Daichi would still stroke him with a soothing hand and keep up a safe rhythm. However, Daichi’s gentleness also made him feel loved, because the alpha always said it was for his own safety. “I don’t want to hurt you,” was a phrase he had heard every time he had brought the issue up, and Daichi’s considerateness made him smile.

It had been just over a year since they started dating, and Daichi never forgot to think about him. Suga’s heart pounded as he thought about his alpha’s caring nature, about how they held hands during sex and how Daichi would always talk about it as _making love_ because that made it sound right. When Suga was not with Daichi, he wanted to be with him. When they were together, he felt like that is where he belonged.

Life had been smooth and mostly predictable, things often ended up going according to plan, and Suga had never had to face any huge, life-altering issues. When he presented as an omega and had his first heat, he had been happy that he wouldn’t have to go through life pretending to be stronger than he felt. The heat hadn’t been long or intense either, not much bigger than his normal state of arousal, just a bit more persistent. During his second heat he was already dating Daichi and they had sex in secret, his parents only finding out about it weeks later when they started worrying about his missing heat. Telling them about Daichi made Suga’s heart speed up, but they quickly accepted the alpha as a suitable boyfriend for him – just like he had already predicted. Daichi was stable, he was a constant, and Suga enjoyed knowing that it was exactly how things were always going to be.

After volleyball practise on a perfectly normal afternoon, Suga had pulled Daichi to the side and kissed him. Daichi kissed back, opening his mouth to lick at Suga’s plump lips. Suga pressed his entire body against the alpha’s, the scent of sweat and pheromones rising from the strong body next to his. He grinded against Daichi’s thick thigh, making the alpha break the kiss and step away.

“Koushi,” Daichi said, his voice out of breath and face sweating, “not here.”

“Please, Daichi,” Suga moaned quietly. “Why don’t you fuck me in the showers?”

Daichi blushed at the words, wiping sweat from his nape, and looked around nervously.

“Don’t say such things,” he said. “You know we can’t do it in school.”

“I bet we wouldn’t be the first or only ones,” Suga said, but with no true conviction.

He had learned to know where Daichi drew the line. Kissing was usually okay, for as long as he managed to surprise Daichi with it, but there would never be a day when the alpha would agree to have sex in such a public and forbidden place. Suga knew that, yet he couldn’t stop himself from trying to coax Daichi into breaking his safe patterns.

“Nevertheless,” Daichi said, “we shouldn’t participate in something like that.”

Suga sighed and smiled.

“I know,” he said.

It was expected. It was better to not break rules just for a fuck, but somewhere deep down Suga couldn’t help feeling disappointed.

“Besides,” Daichi continued, “you shouldn’t extort your body too much. We’ve just been practising.”

“I know, Daichi,” Suga said. “You always take such good care of me.”

Daichi smiled and stroked Suga’s hair as they made it to the locker room.

“I love you, sugar,” he said with such tenderness in his eyes Suga thought he might cry.

“I love you too,” he said and kissed Daichi’s chapped lips before the alpha could back away.

Everyone else had left by then, leaving them alone to shower and change their clothes. Suga liked looking at the way Daichi’s skin glistened in the streams of water running down his body, but today he was too wound up. He hurried to get clean and stepped out of the shower when Daichi was still washing himself. Suga patted his skin dry with a towel, trying to take his mind off the gutter. He started pulling on clothes, and couldn’t resist brushing against his modest cock. He bit his lip and sighed. Maybe Daichi could be persuaded into sex when they went to his place to study.

The door to the locker room slammed open, startling Suga who was still thinking about the way Daichi’s lips tasted and what his fingers felt like against his hips. He turned to see Tanaka standing at the doorway with a flushed face and out of breath.

”Suga-san!” the alpha shouted.

He brought with him the faint smell of sex, and Suga couldn’t help wondering if Tanaka may have done something he shouldn’t have.


	2. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa needs help and Suga offers his help.

Because Suga was an omega, he had never really noticed the scent of fear. He hadn’t even thought about it as something important, just one more of those quirks of the alpha and omega dynamics that no one could really explain and didn’t even want to. As he now approached the corner of the building, approached the omega Tanaka had said to be Oikawa from Seijou, he was suddenly hit by a scent unknown to him. It made his heart squeeze and his knees go weak, it got thicker the closer to the source he got, and when he stepped around the corner it was almost suffocating; it mixed with the smell of alpha pheromones and heat, and Suga stopped for a moment to clear his head.

What Suga saw before him didn’t exactly help him calm down; Oikawa was lying on the ground, pants pulled off and stuck on one ankle. His ass and legs were sticky with slick and semen, and he sniffled, his entire body shivering with it. The back of his shirt had grass stains and dirt on it. Suga swallowed at the sight. He may have not known Oikawa very well, and had only once seen the omega face to face, but he would have imagined the omega to be more careful about putting himself in such danger. Suddenly Suga’s head was filled with all kinds of horrifying scenarios of how Oikawa had ended up where he was, and he shook his head to focus on what he was supposed to do. Oikawa didn’t react to his presence in any way, and hearing him sob made Suga want to cry too. He felt it in his throat, the pain of having been used in such a brutal way, and he wanted to pull Oikawa into a hug and tell him everything was going to be fine.

With careful movements Suga approached the omega and crouched down next to him. Oikawa was crying, and Suga carefully stroked his hair. It was sweaty and messy, a blade of grass stuck among the brown waves.

“You’re safe now, you’re safe,” he mumbled, not quite sure if Oikawa could even hear him over his sobbing.

When Oikawa had calmed down enough to talk, Suga was able to breathe easier.

“How did you end up here?” he asked, now stroking Oikawa’s shoulder in what he hoped to be a soothing motion.

Oikawa hesitated, his eyes roaming his surroundings, and Suga waited.

“Kageyama,” Oikawa finally choked out.

Suga’s heart sank at the answer. Tanaka had already told him about it, said that he had interrupted Kageyama forcing Oikawa, but his behaviour hadn’t exactly convinced Suga. Now that Oikawa affirmed his story, Suga wasn’t sure what to think. Kageyama was just a first-year, having only recently presented as an alpha.

“He wasn’t the first one,” Oikawa added, and Suga squeezed his shoulder slightly, forcing the empathetic pain out of his mind for the time being.

Oikawa didn’t want to go to the showers, so Suga got up and prepared to fetch a wet towel. Now he had focus, and he knew what he had to do. He didn’t like the thought of leaving Oikawa alone, but he couldn’t force the omega to go with him. He rounded the corner and came face to face with a pale Tanaka.

“He’s okay, isn’t he?” the alpha asked, fidgeting with his fingers and eyes wide with worry.

“Are you sure you didn’t touch him?” Suga asked.

He could see the answer all over Tanaka, but the alpha insistently shook his head and said that nothing had happened. Suga couldn’t make Oikawa wait any longer than necessary, so he didn’t push the issue. Instead he told Tanaka to go get Daichi, and watched the alpha turn around and hurry to the locker room.

Suga stood still for a moment. Oikawa hadn’t named Tanaka as his perpetrator, but the way Tanaka looked and smelled clearly suggested that something had happened between those two. He sighed. It wasn’t really any of his business, and right now he needed to concentrate on what he was doing.

Heading to the locker room Suga noticed how his head cleared more when he was away from Oikawa’s fear. He stopped at the door, hesitating before entering. The door opened before he even made a move to open it himself. Daichi was standing in front of him, nostrils flared and a worried expression on his face.

”Daichi,” Suga managed to say before he was pulled into a strong hug.

”Don’t be afraid,” Daichi said and stroked the omega’s back.

”I’m not-,” Suga started but didn’t finish the sentence.

Suddenly he noticed how his legs were shaking and his heart pounding. He pressed against Daichi’s strong body, feeling powerless and weak, and he closed his eyes for a moment to breathe in the comforting scent of the alpha who cared about him.

”He needs help,” Suga then said and gently pushed Daichi away from him. ”I trust you, Daichi, and I think he trusts me. You have to help me take him home.”

”Tanaka explained it to me. Of course I’ll help,” Daichi said and kissed Suga’s cheek.

Suga noticed Tanaka sitting on a bench, and blushed at the way Daichi wasn’t shy with his affection for once. Tanaka looked distraught, his eyes wide, staring at the floor and taking quick glances at the door.

”Are you okay?” Suga asked.

Tanaka flinched when he realised he was the target of the question.

”Yes,” he said breathy. ”I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I’ll wait here until you’re gone. His scent is too overbearing.”

Suga raised an eyebrow at that statement, but let it slide. He went for his things, wet a towel, and with a final look at Tanaka’s shivering form he led Daichi out to where Oikawa was lying.

“Wait here,” he told Daichi with a gentle stroke on the alpha’s chest.

Daichi merely nodded, looking slightly pale, and leaned on the wall. Being so close to a fearful omega in heat must have been way harder on Daichi than it was on Suga. Suga almost regretted getting Daichi involved, but he had to do everything he possibly could to help Oikawa, who really needed it.

Wiping Oikawa’s body clean was something Suga hadn’t been prepared to do. He wanted to apologise every single touch of the towel on the omega’s skin, but did his best to keep up a façade of confidence to ease Oikawa’s nervousness. Suga had also experienced the fatigue heat could cause to one’s body, and he shuddered at the thought of being unable to move in public. Oikawa’s skin was hot and smooth, and a part of Suga was curious about touching another omega so intimately. He chastised himself for even thinking about such things, but wiping the skin around Oikawa’s small cock and seeing his pink entrance glistening was almost arousing. Suga wanted to slap himself.

Getting Oikawa into a pair of sweatpants was almost a relief, as now his most intimate parts were covered like they should be. Suga felt Oikawa relax too, and the omega seemed to be gaining some control of his body again. He was still leaning heavily on Suga when he had to sit up to get a clean shirt on, but Suga was confident that Oikawa would be able to support at least a bit of his own weight so he and Daichi wouldn’t have to drag him all the way home.

“Daichi is going to help me get you home,” Suga said. “He’s an alpha, but you don’t need to be afraid of him. He’s only going to touch you to support you. Okay?”

Oikawa didn’t say anything immediately, and Suga let him take his time. When the omega finally nodded, Suga called out to Daichi.

When Daichi stepped to view, Oikawa cowered away, leaning more towards Suga. His body went stiff and there was a restless twitch in the way he sat there. Suga stroked his arm to help him calm down, happy that Daichi was there to help him. Sometimes he felt like the stereotypical omega: helpless and weak without his alpha. Daichi’s presence gave him more self-assurance.

“Oikawa,” Daichi said. “I want to get you home before the second wave of heat hits you.”

The alpha was using his best gentle alpha voice, and Suga felt his heart leap at the sound of it. Together they helped Oikawa stand up. When Oikawa was close to Daichi, he bared his neck in submission. Suga knew it was an unconscious reaction, but couldn’t help feeling a pinch of jealousy. He took a deep breath before turning around to collect Oikawa’s things. He glanced at the way Daichi was hugging Oikawa close to his body, and a bitter sadness filled him.

_Stop thinking about yourself_ , he told himself angrily. _Oikawa doesn’t need your pitiable jealousy, he needs your help._

Oikawa was heavy, but tried his best to make it easier for Suga and Daichi to walk him home. At times Suga felt Daichi’s hand brush against his arm, but when he turned to look Daichi was facing forward with a face of intense focus. Oikawa’s cock was hard, and internally Suga smiled at the thought that Daichi’s scent was affecting Oikawa just like it always had an effect on him when he was in heat or close to heat. The more they walked the more he was able to let go of the unnecessary jealousy he had initially felt, and had returned to worrying about the other omega. When they finally reached their destination, Suga was once again only determined to help Oikawa feel as safe as possible until he was safely inside.

Suga saw someone waiting by the door, and heard Oikawa whisper: “Iwa-chan.” When Suga had first seen Iwaizumi he had thought that he was a strong, almost clichéd alpha. Suga had observed his behaviour on court, but had not anticipated how much more volatile he was off court. The moment the alpha sensed them he approached with anger in his features. Suga’s heart nearly stopped, and his instincts told him to either submit or escape. He did his best to stay still for Oikawa, but couldn’t help turning to Daichi for support.

“What are you doing with another alpha?” Iwaizumi asked with his teeth bared.

The alpha’s anger washed over Suga, and his heart sank when he saw Daichi step aside instead of staying close to them. He felt exposed and vulnerable in front of Iwaizumi’s growl, even though he wasn’t the target of it. Suga couldn’t understand how Oikawa could live with such a hot-headed alpha, didn’t see any reason for why the omega should be so desperate to get to such a dangerous person.

When Iwaizumi headed to the gate to leave, Oikawa cried out his name. Suga didn’t have time to even properly understand that Oikawa fell to the ground when Iwaizumi was already with him and pulling him up. Oikawa cling to him like he was everything that mattered, and when Suga noticed the face of betrayal and sadness Iwaizumi was making, he understood. Iwaizumi may be quick to anger, but he clearly loved Oikawa. The way he held Oikawa after he understood the situation was a clear sign of a strong connection between the two, and Suga was happy that Oikawa was finally home with the person he wanted.

Iwaizumi carried Oikawa inside, and Suga followed them with Oikawa’s things. Daichi was following him close by, and he felt even more comforted by his presence. Iwaizumi took Oikawa to the living room before returning to the door.

”Thank you so much for helping him,” the alpha said with sincere eyes. ”And I’m sorry for reacting like that. I just… I was so worried about him and… You know how it is with alphas and their omegas in heat.”

”I understand completely,” Daichi said with a reassuring smile.

”I’m sorry I scared you,” Iwaizumi said, turning to look at Suga.

Suga blushed and couldn’t face the alpha in front of him. He wished that alphas couldn’t smell fear so his feelings would have staid a secret.

”Never mind that,” he mumbled.

With a final thank-you Iwaizumi closed the door and Daichi turned to Suga.

”Are you okay?” he asked.

”I’m fine,” Suga replied, trying to look sincere.

”You got so scared,” Daichi said gently. ”I just wanted to scoop you up and carry you to safety.”

”Daichi,” Suga groaned. ”It wasn’t that bad.”

”Are you sure?” Daichi asked.

Suga nodded and looked the alpha straight in the eyes.

”Good,” Daichi said and grabbed Suga’s hand into his own. ”Then let’s go.”

Suga followed Daichi who seemed to be in a hurry. He looked at the alpha’s face that was intense, and decided to not question him about where they were hurrying. He would find out eventually.

Daichi didn’t slow down before they arrived to his doorstep, and even then he seemed to only stop because he had to open the door. Suga stepped inside first, and Daichi closed the door behind them. Suga had hardly kicked off his shoes when Daichi turned him around and pushed him against the wall.

”Daichi-” Suga managed to breathe out before his lips were claimed to a heated kiss.

It was unusual for Daichi to get so carried away they didn’t even make it to the bedroom first, but after such an exhausting afternoon Suga welcomed the change. He let himself be pinned to the wall by Daichi’s strong body, the alpha’s tongue hastily exploring his mouth, and Suga could feel his erection pressing against his hip. Daichi lifted him up, and he wrapped his legs around the alpha’s waist. Daichi carried him to the bedroom, and Suga felt exhilarated by this new desperate side of the alpha. He smiled into the kiss, hungrily accepting every lick of Daichi’s tongue. The feeling of strong arms holding him up and palms spread on his body made him feel the same kind of passion he had felt earlier in school. His arms were wrapped around Daichi’s neck, his fingers in his hair, and he pressed his hips closer to Daichi’s stomach for stimulation.

When Daichi lowered him on the bed, Suga was expecting the desperation to turn into a soft loving touch, but instead Daichi was immediately pulling his pants off. Their mouths were still connected, tongues rubbing against each other with sloppy sounds, and Suga was so turned on he felt like he was going to heat. Daichi’s fingers caressed his exposed cock that was already dripping pre-come, and Suga moaned into the alpha’s mouth, his hips bucking up to the touch.

”Daichi,” Suga breathed as Daichi’s lips travelled down his neck, clumsy fingers trying to pry open the shirt that was still covering Suga’s chest.

Suga tried to start opening Daichi’s shirt buttons too, but the alpha pulled away and pushed his own pants down to his thighs. His cock was hard and wet, the tip angry red, and suddenly Suga realised it had probably been like that since the first time Daichi had smelled Oikawa’s heat. The realisation of how much Daichi had been able to hold back in the presence of an omega in heat made Suga groan, and Daichi spread his legs open with firm hands. Suga willingly spread his legs, and Daichi pulled him closer, lifting his hips slightly before pressing the tip of his cock to the slick entrance.

”Dai-,” Suga had time to say before the alpha was already pushing inside to the tight heat of Suga’s ass.

Suga choked and fisted the sheets tightly into his hands, his head thrown back and neck exposed to the alpha. Daichi had never penetrated him without first preparing him with fingers, and the cock now spreading him open felt much larger than usual. Daichi didn’t stop to allow him to get used to the feeling, and the first roll of his hips was hard and desperate. He hit Suga’s prostate with the first thrust, and Suga couldn’t keep his voice down.

Daichi fucked into him hard, the pace quickening with each thrust, until he was pounding in so hard Suga thought he would explode with the pleasure. He was nearly ripping the sheets with his hands, his legs wrapped around Daichi and ankles locked behind the alpha’s back. His toes were curling and back arched as Daichi continued, the large hands on his hips pressing with bruising force. Suga screamed as he came, his seed spilling on his stomach and reaching his shirt, and Daichi grunted as his body convulsed and tightened around his cock. Suga felt Daichi take a better hold of his hips, pulling him into each thrust that hit his prostate dead on. He looked at the alpha hovering above him, brows furrowed and sweat dripping from his hair. Daichi’s eyes were unfocused, his mouth slightly open and breaths heavy.

Suga had to close his eyes, cock aching with oversensitivity when he stroked it, and he came a second time with a strangled sound, body thrashing on the bed. He hoped to get a moment to breathe, but Daichi was still intently fucking him, hips rolling with fluidity that was typical to him, but gaining power as he continued. He bent down, his arms leaning on the bed on each side of Suga’s head, and Suga felt the heat radiating from his body. His breaths were ragged, and if Suga wasn’t so sensitive and spent out from his two orgasms he would have reached out to pull the alpha into a kiss. Suga lay almost still, his body only moving with the force of Daichi’s thrusts that were quickly losing rhythm. Suga could already feel the knot forming at the base of Daichi’s cock, and bit his lip when Daichi thrust hard one last time before his knot swelled and locked him inside Suga’s tight hole, and his seed shot inside the omega. Suga shuddered when he felt Daichi’s come spill inside him and couldn’t stop his hips from jolting as he too came. Daichi’s hips stopped and he collapsed on Suga before quickly rolling off to the side, pulling Suga with him.

The air was thick with sex and sweat, and Suga swiped Daichi’s glistening forehead with his fingertips. Daichi was breathing hard, his chest heaving, and he seemed unable to form words. His knot kept Suga aroused, the stretch strong and enjoyable, and Suga couldn’t help rolling his hips softly with the feeling. He was exhausted, his muscles shivering, but the feeling of being filled to the brim with Daichi was driving him crazy. Daichi reached out to stroke his arm, but Suga pushed him over to lie on his back, he himself climbing onto his lap and sitting up.

“I have never been this aroused, Daichi,” Suga said and started unbuttoning his shirt.

Daichi whimpered as Suga’s ass clenched around him, his hips pushing up into the heat. Suga tossed his shirt off and enjoyed the feeling of Daichi’s eyes roaming his body. He licked his lips slowly before rolling his hips almost experimentally, finding the right type of motion to make Daichi’s swollen cock hit the right spots inside him. Daichi was lying still, hands caressing Suga’s legs, quietly watching how Suga moved. Suga whined softly at the feeling of Daichi inside him, and his body shook with the effort of reaching another orgasm. Daichi swallowed, the bob of his Adam’s apple exciting Suga.

Just when Suga was getting frustrated with not having the right kind of stimulation to send him over the edge, Daichi reached a hand to stroke his wet cock, his big palm encasing the small member completely. The touch was all it took for Suga to let out a loud whine as he came, no more seed spilling from him but his cock jolting in Daichi’s hand. He had tears in his eyes when he felt Daichi’s hips thrust up and more semen spill inside him, and he lay down, careful to not fall, even though he felt like he had no strength left in him.

Daichi took Suga into a hug, his hands caressing the sweaty back of the omega. Suga sighed comfortably and pressed his lips on Daichi’s collar, his hands finding a hold of his sticky shirt.

“Daichi,” he whispered, and Daichi stroked strands of hair away from his forehead.

“I’m sorry, sugar,” Daichi said quietly. “I lost control and went totally overboard.”

“Daichi,” Suga said with a frown and weakly slapped the alpha on his shoulder. “Don’t you dare apologise for giving me the best sex of my life.”

Daichi looked at him like a lost puppy, and Suga had to close his eyes to stop himself from giggling.

“This is exactly what I’ve always wanted,” Suga said and looked at Daichi again. “I keep asking you to go harder, and finally you did. _You_ don’t need to apologise. _I_ need to thank you.”

Daichi looked slightly conflicted – probably wanted to keep apologising. Suga smiled and kissed the alpha.

“I take it you had a hard time being so close to Oikawa,” Suga then said.

“You could say that,” Daichi said and shook his head. “It was torture. I’ve never been so close to wanting to jump you in public.”

Suga chuckled.

“You did so well,” he said. “You helped an omega in need, and you controlled yourself in such an impossible situation. It’s really amazing you could hold yourself back and didn’t try to touch him.”

“I wouldn’t touch anyone but you,” Daichi said.

“You’re so amazing,” Suga said and kissed Daichi again.

Daichi kissed him back, both of them smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing this chapter for weeks, starting over a couple of times, and even now I'm still not exactly happy with it, but I can't get stuck here. Writing is slow because I'm trying to find a balance between Oikawa's plotline and Suga's personal experiences without tying Oikawa to Suga's life too much. This also means I'm probably going to update slowly. I need to reference the original story so often because I've happily forgotten all the details too.
> 
> Maybe this will get easier as I write more.


	3. Secrets

There was no one home when Suga arrived, and he was thankful for not having to explain why he was wearing Daichi’s shirt. He quickly washed the semen off his own shirt before throwing it to the pile of other laundry, and retreated to his room. His body was still feeling weak from how hard he and Daichi had been going at it, and he was certain he would still be able to feel it the next day. He dropped down onto his bed and sighed contently, Daichi’s shirt encasing him with the alpha’s scent.

Suga had never felt so satisfied. He closed his eyes and breathed in, thinking about the way Daichi’s touch had aroused new reactions out of him. He was hopeful that the alpha would finally understand that he could take it harder too. Suga pressed his cheek against his pillow and his thoughts drifted to what had led to their amazing sex.

The image of Oikawa lying on the ground half-naked and crying resurfaced to Suga’s mind, and he couldn’t get rid of it again. He – just as well as all the other omegas ever – had heard about the terrible horror stories of what happened to omegas in heat if they didn’t stay home, but he had never thought he would witness such a thing happening to someone he knew. He had to open his eyes to get rid of the memory Oikawa’s raped body. He still remembered the smell, and he wondered if that’s what it always smelled like. He shuddered and thought about Oikawa’s rough voice uttering Kageyama’s name. He thought about Tanaka bursting into the locker room nearly shouting that he had caught Kageyama raping Oikawa. He thought about Kageyama’s awkward appearance, the childlike expressions he still made sometimes when he didn’t understand something, the way he didn’t seem all that happy about being an alpha.

Suga thought about the fact that it could have been him.

He shook his head to chase the thought away, but it stuck and wouldn’t budge. He saw Kageyama nearly every day. They played side by side. What if he went to heat before he had made it safely home and Kageyama was there? What if Kageyama didn’t care whether or not the omega was in heat?

“Stop it,” Suga told himself quietly.

The uneasiness wouldn’t leave him alone, but he tried to focus on Daichi. The alpha had been exceptionally good to him, even kissing him so affectionately in front of Tanaka. Who had most likely fucked Oikawa too.

Suga sighed and turned to lie on his back. He had to be right. How else would Oikawa have gotten all that semen on him if Kageyama was interrupted? It didn’t make any sense. Yet, Oikawa hadn’t said anything about Tanaka. It was possible he simply didn’t want to talk, but he had also given up Kageyama’s name.

_It’s none of my business_ , Suga reminded himself, but couldn’t help thinking about what a bad liar Tanaka was. Not to mention, you didn’t just get the smell of sex onto you by interrupting two people.

A sight left Suga’s lip. His head was spinning with all the difficult thoughts, different scenarios of what might have happened, and in the background his own fear of having to go through with something similar if he wasn’t careful. He was certain every omega in the world thought about it too, how to make sure no alpha would touch you inappropriately. “Don’t give them a reason,” was something he had heard before, and while he didn’t like what it implied it had also always rang true.

Suga thought about how Daichi simply pushed into him with one thrust, how it had felt tighter than usual. If he hadn’t been so incredibly wet it wouldn’t have gone in quite that smoothly. If he hadn’t been quite so wet it might have hurt.

There had been scrapes on Oikawa’s skin and dirt under his fingernails. He had tried to escape. He had tried to summon all the power he had left to get away, but heat had made him weak and vulnerable.

There was a lump in Suga’s throat and he fought the tears that were gathering in his eyes. He tried to imagine the fear of being in heat in public, losing control over your body and aching to be filled, but the person touching you wasn’t the one you wanted. He tried to imagine that happening more than once, and he couldn’t imagine it, couldn’t understand how something like that could possibly happen, couldn’t comprehend how any alpha would go so far as to hurt another person just because of hormones.

Finally he gave in and cried, thinking of how lucky he was to have Daichi and to have never been touched by someone he didn’t want touching him.

*

Suga knew it was obvious he had been crying instead of sleeping when he headed to school the next day. He did his best to put on a smile when he greeted his teammates, but no smile could hide the swelling of his eyes. He got a couple of worried glances from people, but no one approached the subject. Daichi lingered in the locker room, waiting for everyone else to leave before stepping closer to Suga, who was slowly changing into his volleyball gear.

“What’s wrong, sugar?” he asked quietly and stroked Suga’s cheek.

“I didn’t sleep very well,” Suga said and gave Daichi a small smile.

“Do you think I’ll believe anything you say just because you’re cute?” Daichi asked with a gentle smile, hand brushing Suga’s back.

Suga laughed and turned to look at Daichi.

“It’s true,” he said.

“Maybe so,” Daichi said and pulled Suga into a warm hug, “but it’s not the whole truth, is it?”

Suga allowed himself a moment of comfort in Daichi’s arms, leaning his head on the alpha’s chest and breathing in the familiar scent.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday,” he finally said, cheek still against Daichi’s warm body.

He could hear how Daichi’s heart sped up.

“Which part of yesterday?” the alpha asked uncertainly.

Suga pulled away from the hug and looked at the alpha with an unimpressed face.

“I’m not referring to our sex, if that’s what you think,” he said. “I mean Oikawa.”

Suga could have sworn Daichi let out a sigh of relief, but chose to not get too hung up on such a small detail. It would be like Daichi to think that he had messed up somehow and failed to fulfil his duty as an alpha.

“Yes,” Daichi said, clearing his throat. “That was very unfortunate.”

“Unfortunate is an understatement,” Suga said. “Maybe it seemed unfortunate to you, but you didn’t see him in the state I did.”

“I could smell him,” Daichi pointed out.

“So could I,” Suga snapped. “Can you even understand how distressing it is to smell someone’s fear for the first time in your life?”

Daichi didn’t say anything for a moment.

“I guess I can’t,” he then said. “You could really smell it?”

Suga nodded and pulled his shorts up.

“I never knew that was even possible,” Daichi said thoughtfully. “I always figured it was something to make it easier for alphas to protect their mates.”

“Never figured it might be a way for omegas to tell nasty alphas to back off?” Suga asked pointedly.

“Sugar,” Daichi started. “Koushi. I know the world is a very different place for alphas and omegas. As an alpha I try my best to take it into consideration and make sure I don’t contribute to anything harmful…”

“Shut up already,” Suga snapped. “I’ve had enough of any kind of discussions of alpha superiority and the need to protect weakly omegas.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Daichi said. “And this isn’t what we were supposed to talk about.”

“Yet you couldn’t help bringing it up again,” Suga said with brows furrowed.

“Okay, fine,” Daichi said, lifting his hands up in defeat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you when you were already upset to begin with. I just want you to always be safe.”

Suga didn’t say anything, staring at the floor by Daichi’s feet with a sour look on his face, but not really all that angry. He was exhausted, and started to think that maybe he should have stayed home and slept.

“Koushi?” Daichi asked when there was no response.

Suga looked up at Daichi’s sincere eyes and let himself press against the alpha’s body again.

“I’m tired,” he said, and Daichi slowly stroked his back. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“And I never want to fight with you,” Daichi said.

The words sparked another wave of irritation in Suga, but he supressed it before letting it surface. There would be better times for their arguments about the dynamics between alphas and omegas, and right now he had to pull himself together to get through the day as well as possible.

“Let’s go to practise,” Suga said.

Daichi patted his back before releasing him, and Suga stole a quick kiss before grinning and jogging off.

When Suga hurried in to the gym he nearly ran straight into Kageyama, who was standing next to the doorway.

”Sorry,” Suga said.

His heart sped up when Kageyama turned to look at him with his typical blank face. He swallowed before getting his nerves under control.

”Don’t worry,” Kageyama said, his face lightening up.

Suga smiled and quickly moved away, heart sill beating fast and nervousness crawling on his skin.

”Suga,” Daichi called from behind him, and reluctantly Suga turned to look at the alpha.

Kageyama was still standing by the doorway, looking at him with a confused expression on his face. Suga turned his eyes to Daichi.

”You realise your fear just spiked through the roof?” the alpha whispered.

”I was just startled,” Suga offered, but Daichi shook his head.

”Try to calm down,” he said. ”He’s never been a danger to you.”

Suga wanted to retort but chose to not continue on the subject of what made Kageyama seem dangerous to him.

”Do you think he would buy my being startled theory?” Suga asked.

”No one’s going to buy that,” Daichi said with a soft expression. ”But don’t think about it too much. Sometimes people just freak out.”

Not entirely satisfied with that Suga flashed a smile to the alpha and joined Asahi who was trying to avoid being the sole target of Noya’s enthusiasm while Tanaka laughed at them.

After the practice was over Suga had calmed down and forgotten about his worries. They soon returned in the showers, though, where Suga constantly felt like a target. He hurried to get dressed and left while everyone else was still either showering or drying themselves. Suga made his way to the classroom and sat down with a sigh. Not very many people were around yet, and Suga enjoyed the brief moment of calm.

It didn’t take very long before Daichi stepped into the classroom and made his way to Suga.

”Daichi,” Suga said before the alpha had a moment to open his mouth. ”I already know. Let’s not talk about it.”

”Okay,” Daichi said and sat down.

True to his promise Daichi didn’t approach the subject again, and Suga was able to put his fears aside for the day, until it was time for volleyball again. He managed to keep his nervousness at bay most of the time, and that gave way to the suspicion to rise.

When everyone headed to the locker room after practice, Suga approached Tanaka and pulled him aside. Tanaka surprise was soon replaced by embarrassment when he realised who had held him back.

”Hello,” he said awkwardly, his face quickly reddening.

”Tanaka,” Suga begun, ”I wanted to ask you something about yesterday.”

Tanaka flinched visibly and averted his eyes.

”I figured,” he mumbled.

”You probably know what it is,” Suga said, eyes fixed on the alpha who was shrinking under his gaze. ”What happened exactly?”

”Well,” Tanaka started and gulped. ”I told you already.”

”I want to hear it again,” Suga said. ”You know, just to make sure I got it right.”

Tanaka glanced at him before looking at his feet. His entire face was burning red, when he lifted his head up and looked at Suga’s shoulder.

”I was going home,” he said, ”when I smelled it. And I went to take a look. And…”

Tanaka’s voice faded. He lifted a hand to rub his cheek.

”Well,” he said almost weakly, ”Kageyama was there and he was… doing Oikawa.”

Tanaka breathed deeply and let his eyes wander the hallway.

”I noticed that Oikawa was crying and my instincts took over,” he continued. ”He may not be my omega but he was an omega in distress, so I pulled Kageyama away and he just left.”

”Then what happened?” Suga asked before Tanaka could conclude his story.

Tanaka stayed quiet. He wasn’t looking anywhere near Suga anymore, his eyes were roaming the walls, and his blush had spread down to his neck.

”Did you fuck him?” Suga asked.

Tanaka flinched at the question.

”You did, didn’t you?” Suga continued.

Tanaka shook his head with a defeated look on his face.

”I know you did,” Suga said, voice calm and steady, even though his heart was pounding with nervousness.

Finally Tanaka nodded shortly.

”I couldn’t stop myself,” he said with a hushed voice. ”He smelled so good and he was begging me to do it. He looked so desperate. I couldn’t stop myself.”

Suga didn’t say anything. He let Tanaka’s words echo in his ears, their meaning to sink in. Tanaka was looking at his shoes.

“He begged me to take him,” Tanaka repeated. “Then afterwards I realised what I had done and he seemed to realise it too, and please don’t tell anyone. Please, Suga-san.”

Tanaka was now looking at Suga straight in the eyes, his expression desperate and eyes glistening with anxiety. Suga smiled at him.

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” he said. “It’s Oikawa’s place to decide that.”

“I guess so,” Tanaka said quietly, head hanging in defeat.

“Don’t worry too much,” Suga said and patted Tanaka on the shoulder. “He didn’t say anything about you to me, so he probably doesn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“You think so?” Tanaka asked, looking up with a hopeful expression.

Suga nodded and Tanaka smiled nervously.

“Should we tell someone about Kageyama?” Tanaka asked.

Suga took a moment to think.

“I don’t know,” he then said. “Shouldn’t Oikawa decide that for himself? He’s the victim.”

“Sometimes victims don’t want to talk,” Tanaka said.

Suga looked at Tanaka, who was starting to look uneasy again.

“I think we should wait for what he decides to do,” Suga said.

“Really?” Tanaka asked. “I thought you’d want to make sure no one gets off the hook after something like that.”

It was Suga’s turn to blush and avert his eyes. He didn’t want to tell Tanaka the truth, but he also felt like he owed the alpha an explanation after his confession.

“You know,” Suga started slowly. “I’m an omega.”

“I know,” Tanaka said, his brow raised in question.

Suga fidgeted for a moment, looking down to Tanaka’s knees.

“I’m just,” Suga tried finding the right words. “I’m afraid.”

His voice had gone quiet, it was just a whisper, but he felt like his words were travelling down the hallways to the entire school. He glanced at Tanaka who seemed to have understood.

“I’m sure Kageyama wouldn’t try to retaliate,” the alpha said. “Besides, you have Daichi-san to protect you.”

“I know,” Suga said quietly. “But it’s not like he’s with me every moment of every day.”

“Don’t worry, Suga-san,” Tanaka said, and Suga looked up at him. “I’ll make sure no one will harm you!”

Tanaka was starting to look like his overly confident self, and Suga couldn’t help smiling.

“Thank you,” he said. “Also, please don’t tell anyone. Especially Daichi.”

Tanaka nodded, and together they headed to the locker room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write this and then I feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
> 
> It's much harder than I thought it would be. Also I've been so slow with writing lately. orz


	4. Don't Apologise

It had been a week since the incident, and Suga had tried his best to forget about his fears. He had been waiting for a day when Kageyama would suddenly be taken to see the principal or the police would show up and arrest him, but nothing had happened. Kageyama himself didn’t show any signs of even thinking about what he had done, and Suga couldn’t shake the uneasiness he felt whenever they were around each other. Tanaka, on the other hand, had clearly gone back to normal, not shying away when Suga showed up, and grinning widely when their eyes met. Suga found it easier to be around Kageyama when he knew Tanaka had his back.

It had been a week of silence from Oikawa, and Suga wondered if the omega was doing okay. He was sitting in his own bedroom, Daichi sitting right next to him reading, and he was chewing his pencil in thought. He had been staring at his homework for a long time without understanding any of it, his thoughts otherwise occupied. He hardly even noticed when Daichi put his book down and turned to look at him.

“Koushi,” Daichi said with his firm alpha voice.

Suga turned to look at his boyfriend, pencil still between his lips.

“What?” he asked.

Daichi was looking at him, eyes searching, and Suga wondered if the alpha could really tell what he was thinking about.

“You’re not thinking about your homework, are you?” Daichi finally asked.

Suga shook his head and placed his pencil down on the table.

“What is it?” Daichi asked, pulling Suga close to him.

With a quiet sigh Suga let himself press against Daichi’s warmth.

“It’s been a week,” he said. “I wonder how Oikawa is doing.”

Daichi hummed quietly, nuzzling his cheek against Suga’s hair.

“He still has your clothes,” he said.

“Oh, right,” Suga said absentmindedly. “I had forgotten.”

“I’m sure you’ll hear from him when he decides to return them,” Daichi said.

“I guess so,” Suga said.

He fell silent, Daichi’s hand stroking circles on his arm.

“What are you thinking about?” Daichi asked, when the silence continued.

“I was expecting for something to have happened by now,” Suga said.

“Really? What?” Daichi asked.

“I don’t know,” Suga said. “Something to indicate that Kageyama is in trouble.”

Daichi hummed, his voice low and soothing.

“Maybe he is in trouble,” he said, “but we just can’t see it.”

Suga sighed. He shifted closer to Daichi and closed his eyes.

“I don’t like that,” he said. “I don’t like it when I’m not sure if I can still trust him.”

“Of course you can,” Daichi said.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Suga said. “You’ll never understand my viewpoint on this.”

Daichi made a noise in his throat before asking:

“Why won’t you try to explain?”

Suga took a moment to contemplate.

“Because it’s frustrating,” he finally said. “You never really listen to what I say and then you start talking about the bullshit of alphas and omegas and their relationships and you just don’t get it.”

“Oh,” Daichi said, quiet and almost dejected.

“I don’t know how you understand some aspects of being an omega but then not the others,” Suga added. “It makes me feel lonely.”

“I’m sorry, sugar,” Daichi said and pulled Suga into a proper hug. “I try my best, but I know that sometimes it’s not enough.”

“It is enough,” Suga said. “It’s enough.”

Suga struggled to turn in Daichi’s hold to wrap his own arms around the alpha. He leaned his head on Daichi’s shoulder with his eyes closed and breathed in the familiar scent that made him smile.

“I want to be more than enough,” Daichi said, voice quiet and low, and it sent shivers down Suga’s spine. “I want to be everything to you.”

“You’re just perfect as you are,” Suga said and pressed a small kiss to the crook of Daichi’s shoulder.

“Would you become my mate?” Daichi asked.

Suga startled and lifted his head up.

“I don’t mean right now,” Daichi hurried to add. “I mean in time, when we’re both ready to make the commitment.”

“Why do you ask?” Suga asked.

“I’m just wondering,” Daichi mumbled, and blushed.

Suga smiled at Daichi’s pink cheeks.

“You know,” Daichi continued. “I’m just wondering if you really think I’m good enough to be yours.”

“Daichi, you silly,” Suga said almost laughing. “Do you think I would be dating you if I didn’t think so?”

“I guess not,” Daichi muttered and let a smile spread on his lips.

Suga turned more to straddle Daichi and pressed his lips against Daichi’s mouth when it was still slightly open. He slipped his tongue inside, prying a quiet moan out of the alpha before pulling away.

“Then you would also have my babies?” Daichi asked, face still flushed but glowing.

“This conversation is getting a bit too weird right now,” Suga said with a quiet laugh and pressed another kiss on Daichi’s lips.

They kissed slowly, their movements getting more heated as they continued. Daichi’s hands were pressed against Suga’s back, and they were sliding lower as the kiss deepened, until they were resting on his ass. Suga pressed back to the touch, a pleased hum leaving him as Daichi’s fingers pressed against the round flesh. He whined when Daichi pulled away from the kiss.

“I’d still like for you to try,” the alpha said.

“Try what?” Suga asked, lowering his head to press tiny kisses all down Daichi’s neck.

“Try to explain how you feel,” Daichi said with a groan when Suga stopped to suck on the sensitive spot right over his collarbones.

“I don’t want to get angry at you,” Suga hummed in response, leaving wet kisses over the alpha’s skin.

Daichi gasped loudly when Suga nibbled on his pulse point, tongue leaving trails of soft licks on the spot as his lips made their way towards Daichi’s ear.

“I want to understand,” Daichi said, but his resolve was quickly disappearing.

“Daichi,” Suga whined quietly and latched his mouth on the sensitive spot right behind the alpha’s ear.

Daichi’s hands tightened on Suga’s ass, pulling the omega closer to his body, raspy gasps leaving his open mouth. He turned his head to kiss Suga’s neck, anywhere he could reach, lips desperate and hungry. Suga revealed his neck for the alpha, and Daichi’s tongue licked on the skin, lips nibbling on the spots he knew made Suga wet, and the omega moaned, pulling himself closer to the alpha’s touch.

“Daichi,” Suga moaned, and Daichi was tugging on his slacks.

Suga loved the feeling of Daichi’s hands undressing him, the moment of the touch coming closer to his skin when a layer of cloth was removed, and he let out a filthy moan when Daichi’s fingers cupped his ass over his underwear, fingers pointing to the crack where his entrance was already starting to drip.

“Please, Daichi,” Suga pleaded, not entirely sure what he wanted.

Daichi kissed his shoulders and groped his ass, spreading the cheeks apart before letting them close again. Suga’s legs were shivering with the feeling, and he wanted his clothes to be gone already. He reached down to Daichi’s belt and opened it, pulled down the zipper, pulled on the fabric of his clothes to get them out of the way.

“Calm down, sugar,” Daichi laughed breathily.

Suga whimpered and pressed his ass against Daichi’s touch.

“Am I being a naughty boy?” he asked, eyes half-lidded and looking down to Daichi who turned to look up. “Maybe you should punish me, then.”

Daichi didn’t break the gaze, but he didn’t say anything either. It took a moment before Suga fully understood what he had said. He lowered himself to Daichi’s level.

“Sorry,” he said. “I know you’re not into that. I got carried away.”

Daichi was still looking at him, hands slowly massaging the firm flesh of his ass and heat radiating from his body.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want,” Daichi said with a serious tone.

“Daichi,” Suga breathed out and shook his head. “Don’t do that. Don’t apologise. Our sex is perfectly fine as it is.”

The alpha continued looking at him for a while, and Suga smiled reassuringly. Daichi squeezed his ass, making him laugh. Suga pressed his body lower so their groins brushed together and felt how hard Daichi was already.

“I mean it,” he said and kissed the tip of Daichi’s nose.

The alpha suddenly slid his hands under Suga’s boxers to take a hold of his naked ass, and Suga moaned.

“You’re dripping,” Daichi said, dipping his fingers into Suga’s crack.

“For you, babe,” Suga said.

Daichi slid Suga’s underwear off, and when he reached for his own pants Suga pulled his pants down and off one leg before straddling Daichi again. The alpha had slipped his own pants low enough to expose his hips and his hard cock, and Suga rolled his hips towards it. His small cock brushed against Daichi’s length, and the difference in size was erotic. He looked at the way his shaft was slipping against Daichi’s far bigger erection, and the fact that Daichi had an alpha’s cock made him shiver.

“I need it,” Suga said more to himself than Daichi.

“You’ll get it,” Daichi replied.

Before Daichi had a chance to do anything, Suga grabbed a hold of his cock, slid his hand over the length of it a couple of times before lining it up with his entrance. His cheeks were dripping with slick, and he relaxed his muscles, forcing the girth of Daichi’s cock inside. Daichi threw his head back with a groan, and Suga didn’t stop before he was seated firmly on Daichi’s lap, the entire length of his throbbing erection inside him.

“Koushi,” Daichi moaned, ending in a hiss, hands finding Suga’s hips and pressing there.

“Daichi,” Suga said in response, rolling his hips slowly to get used to being filled.

Daichi lifted his head up, his eyes were dark with arousal and he swallowed, breathing through his mouth, chest heaving. Suga smiled at Daichi’s dishevelled looks and rolled his hips again, this time with more force.

“I couldn’t wait,” he said with a hint of laughter at the back of his throat, when Daichi grunted and squeezed his hips.

“Shit, Koushi,” Daichi managed.

Suga started moving his hips in a slow rhythm, taking his time before lifting himself up until only the tip of Daichi’s cock was inside him. He slammed back down, letting out a hurried gasp for being filled so suddenly. He repeated the action, and Daichi got the idea, pushing him down and pulling him up, thrusting his hips when Suga came down. Daichi’s cock was brushing against his prostate, sending a pleasant tingle all over his body, but when their pace quickened and Daichi started thrusting harder, the change in angle made him hit it spot on. Suga couldn’t keep quiet with the pleasure overtaking him, and he wrapped his arms around Daichi’s shoulder, pressing his face against the crook of the alpha’s neck.

“Daichi,” he moaned, “so good!”

The alpha grunted in response, continuing with the harsh thrusts of his hips even when Suga’s body couldn’t keep up anymore. Daichi continued until Suga let out a final gasp and came with Daichi’s name on his lips. Daichi let him ride out his orgasm, only slowing down when he was starting to whine with overstimulation.

Suga was hanging onto Daichi when the alpha stopped, cock still hard and heavy inside him. Suga was breathing hard right next to the alpha’s ear, small whimpers mixing in with the harsh inhales. He was hugging Daichi’s head, grasping for a hold of his hair. Daichi placed his hands on Suga’s back and carefully lowered him on the floor.

Having Daichi loom over him made Suga giggle with excitement. Daichi started his pushes slowly, each one rattling Suga’s entire body. Suga cling to the alpha’s body, whimpering with each thrust of the strong hips. Daichi continued with the familiar slow thrusts of his hips, and Suga felt like the movement was pulling out his pleasure from deep inside him. As much as he had enjoyed the new found harsh pace of sex, he suddenly understood how good it felt to be fucked like this: slow and careful, Daichi’s cock pressing against his prostate with each carefully measured thrust.

Suga was almost crying by the time he reached his second orgasm, Daichi’s thrusts never stopping or faltering. Suga wrapped his legs tightly around Daichi’s back, arms hugging the alpha closer, and he couldn’t keep his eyes open with the pleasure surging over him in flames. Daichi’s short pushes were stroking Suga’s prostate, making his stomach pull tight and limbs tremble. Daichi was kissing his neck right under his ear, the gentle lips sending waves into his body, and between brushes of his lips Daichi whispered encouragement to his ear.

”Koushi, you’re so beautiful,” he said. ”You’re doing so well. Just a bit more.”

Suga whimpered in response, body convulsing around Daichi, and sure enough, it didn’t take long before Daichi’s knot was starting to stretch him, the fullness sending him over the edge for the third time. He could hardly breathe when he finally felt Daichi’s seed shoot deep inside him, and his body was wrung around Daichi’s so tightly he was starting to lose feeling in his arms and legs.

Whines and whimpers were surrounding them, but Suga couldn’t hear them anymore. He could only hear the blood flowing through his veins, the way Daichi’s heart was beating in sync with his own, and he heard Daichi breathe his name. Suga was overtaken by pleasure, and he couldn’t think, didn’t want to think, his body close to breaking from how much he was feeling, and he briefly thought that dying in Daichi’s arms would be the best way to go.

“Koushi,” he heard Daichi call him, but it took him a moment before he could react to it.

The knot was still rooting the two together, and Suga wondered what would happen if he made himself come again. The stretch was pleasurable, and he still had arousal pooling in his groin, but his body was finally getting tired. He felt his muscles slowly relax, his limbs loosening their hold on Daichi’s body, and he sniffled. Daichi was stroking his hair and kissing his cheek.

“Daichi,” he whispered, unable to produce a louder sound, and the alpha raised his head to look into his eyes.

“Hey,” he said with a smile. “Are you okay?”

Suga tried to nod but his head was heavy. He smiled instead, closing his eyes and catching his breath. Daichi’s hand on his hair was warm and soothing, and he let his legs unhook and drop to the floor. His arms were feeling almost liquid, and he allowed them to let go of the alpha’s body too. He opened his eyes to look at the way Daichi was still smiling at him. Daichi took a hold of his hand with his free hand and lowered himself next to Suga.

“That was intense,” he said quietly.

Suga managed a small nod, eyelids heavy and a smile on his lips. The arousal he felt because of Daichi’s knot started to fade to the background.

“If I had known, I would have taken this to the bed,” Daichi said with a smirk.

Suga laughed quietly. Daichi reached to his bed to pull a blanket to the floor. He pulled it over them.

“You can sleep, if you want to,” Daichi said, returning to stroke Suga’s hair, fingers stopping to brush over his mole.

Suga turned more towards Daichi and threw his left arm over the alpha’s shoulder. He was using Daichi’s arm as a pillow, pressed a quiet kiss on the alpha’s chin, and let himself doze off.


	5. Want to Support You

As more days went by with nothing significant happening, Suga learned to ignore the uncertainty and fear that was looming at the borders of his conscious mind. He learned to not flinch when he saw Kageyama, he learned to not think of Oikawa when he was supposed to study or sleep, and he learned to accept the fact that he might never know what happened next. He had come up with several different options of what kind of action Oikawa had taken after his heat was over, some of which he had immediately dismissed as being ridiculous or impossible. He had been worried that something was badly wrong when there was no word from Oikawa, but he later came to realise that Oikawa didn’t know how to contact him other than find him in school. Considering the fact that Oikawa had gone through some of the worst moments of his life in Karasuno grounds it would not surprise Suga if the omega never wanted to see the school again.

Instead of focusing on Oikawa so much Suga had learned to focus on himself again. It had only been a couple of weeks, but with how the world was stubbornly moving on as if nothing had happened, he had no choice but to go with it.

Then, on an ordinary day Oikawa finally made an appearance. Tanaka showed up in the locker room to announce it – this time with less fervour – and simply hearing Oikawa’s name made Suga forget all about his newly found inner balance. He quickly said bye to Daichi and hurried outside. His heart was beating fast as he approached, picking up pace when he saw Oikawa crouched down with his forehead pressed on his knees.

“Are you okay?” Suga asked, immediately feeling silly.

It was clear that Oikawa was not okay; no one hunched down to hug their knees to their chest if they were fine.

“I’m just feeling a bit odd,” Oikawa replied before lifting his head up to look at Suga.

However, Oikawa’s face was pale and uncertain, eyes wet but not quite teary. Suga wasn’t sure what to do, so he remained quiet. Oikawa slowly stood up. Suga was almost startled to be reminded of the fact that Oikawa was taller than him. It was strange to feel so small in comparison to a person, whose entire posture was so nervous. Oikawa was playing with his fingers, not quite looking at Suga, and Suga wondered whether this was how Oikawa had always been or how he had become.

“Can you come over to my place?” Oikawa finally asked after trying to get something said.

Suga nodded, and Oikawa immediately turned away. He was walking fast, and Suga felt like he didn’t want to be followed. Oikawa’s posture was slightly off, and he was unwilling to talk. They walked in silence until they reached the house Suga had only seen once before. They went up to Oikawa’s room, which was clean and tidy, but had a sense of gloom, like the curtains hadn’t been drawn for days. Oikawa fidgeted, and Suga sat down to wait for him to calm down. Oikawa was looking at him with a hint of a blush on his cheeks, and Suga waited for him to talk.

“How do you know if you’re pregnant?” Oikawa finally asked.

The question took Suga by surprise, and he blinked his eyes stupefied. Oikawa looked nervous, and Suga tried to quickly remember everything he had ever learned about pregnancy. The longer it took for him to reply the more Oikawa seemed to slump down into himself, and Suga cursed himself for always having been so uncaring of anything to do with pregnancy. He had always made sure to be on birth control, and he had definitely not planned on having children any time soon, so he had never paid much attention to anything to do with the subject.

Oikawa had dark bags under his eyes and Suga wished he had all the answers.

“I guess one symptom is morning sickness,” he finally remembered, and he couldn’t believe he was such a useless help. “Shouldn’t you just go see a doctor?”

Suga could see how hard Oikawa was trying to keep himself from freaking out. He noticed the tremble in Oikawa’s voice when he said his nipples were swollen, and the way his eyes were roaming around the room with nowhere to settle. Then Oikawa said he was having nightmares, and Suga’s heart dropped.

“Have you talked to anyone about what happened?” Suga asked.

He already knew the answer from how Oikawa looked at him, thinking, and he felt his heart break a little when Oikawa finally spoke.

“I don’t want to. I’m okay,” he said, his eyes filled with pain.

With an internal sigh Suga let it slide and returned to their original topic of Oikawa’s possible pregnancy. He promised to go see a doctor with Oikawa, and the omega burst to tears after muttering a thank-you. Suga only hesitated for a heart-beat before getting up from his spot and sitting down next to Oikawa, pulling the crying boy into a hug.

“You can trust me,” Suga whispered, and Oikawa leaned his head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around Suga.

He could only imagine what Oikawa had been going through, but he was certain that the omega needed a friend to confide in. He let Oikawa cry against his shoulder until his tears ran dry, hands caressing the trembling back when Oikawa sniffled.

“I’m sorry for troubling you with my problems,” Oikawa said with a thick voice, lifting his head slightly to look at Suga.

“Don’t worry about it,” Suga said. “I’m glad you trust me this much.”

“When I first saw you I didn’t think you were anything that special,” Oikawa said, “but then I saw how you interacted with your team, and I realised that you are someone people can trust. You may not be there on court with them, but you are a backbone.”

Suga felt himself blush and he was thankful that Oikawa had turned his head away.

“I’m not that amazing,” he said quietly. “I just try my best.”

“That’s what makes you so important,” Oikawa said against Suga’s shoulder. “I’m glad you were still in school on that day, and that it was you who came to help me. Thank you for everything.”

Suga couldn’t say anything; he was afraid he might burst to tears with the sudden emotions that washed over him. When Oikawa lifted his head up to see why he was quiet, he smiled, and Oikawa smiled back.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Oikawa said suddenly and jumped off the bed. “I have to return your clothes!”

Oikawa picked up the neatly folded clothes from his closet and handed them to Suga.

“They’re properly washed and shouldn’t have any scent residue on them,” Oikawa said.

“Thank you,” Suga said and packed the clothes in his bag.

“Don’t thank me,” Oikawa said. “I haven’t done anything. In fact, I’m sorry it took me this long to return them.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Suga said and smiled at Oikawa, who looked much more carefree and relaxed.

Almost like himself, Suga thought to himself, remembering back to when he had seen Oikawa during their joint practice game.

Leaving Oikawa alone in his house was easier when he had a genuine smile on his face. Suga tried not to think about what kind of a face the omega would make once the door closed between them.

*

Suga tried to figure out how much about Oikawa he could tell Daichi without breaking the omega’s trust. He had yet to decide, when lunch time arrived and they sat together in an abandoned classroom. Suga was eating slowly, trying to come up with a good explanation for having to leave early.

“Koushi,” Daichi interrupted his thoughts.

“Yes?” Suga looked up at the alpha who was watching him.

“You’re awfully quiet today,” Daichi said. “Is there something wrong?”

Suga chewed on a tomato before answering.

“I’m skipping practise today,” he said.

“What? Why?” Daichi asked with a slight frown.

“I’m going to see a doctor,” Suga said, and hurried to add, “with Oikawa. I promised to go with him.”

“Hold on a second,” Daichi said, setting his chopsticks down. “Why do you need to go with him?”

“He’s scared, Daichi,” Suga said. “It’s something to do with what happened, and he’s scared. He hasn’t told anyone but me, so I’m the only one he can ask.”

Daichi was staring at Suga, who continued eating.

“Why doesn’t he talk to his alpha?” Daichi asked. “An alpha’s duty is to take care of their omega.”

Suga willed himself to not roll his eyes.

“Please stop,” he said with a sigh. “I don’t want to hear another word of what an alpha’s duty is. Maybe he hasn’t told because he’s scared. I don’t know. Maybe it hurts too much, maybe he doesn’t want to hurt his alpha with the details-”

“You would trust me, wouldn’t you?” Daichi asked. “If something bad happened to you, you’d tell me about it, right?”

Suga took a moment to swallow the food in his mouth, giving him some time to think.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “I guess it depends. If I was Oikawa, I might not be able to do any better than him.”

Daichi didn’t say anything, although Suga could clearly see he wasn’t convinced. The silence continued for so long that Suga was already thinking that the conversation was over.

“You shouldn’t have to reschedule your life just for him,” Daichi then said.

Suga looked at Daichi with an unimpressed face, but the alpha was looking back with utmost certainty.

“I will do what I need to do to support him,” Suga said.

“Why?” Daichi asked. “You’re not responsible for him.”

“Daichi,” Suga said slowly. “He trusts me. I want to help him. What more do you want to hear?”

Daichi hadn’t touched his food ever since he had put his chopsticks away. Suga was nearly done eating, shoving more rice in his mouth.

“Is it really wise to base a relationship on only the fact that you happened to be there when he needed help?” Daichi asked. “You have already given him a lot, but what has he given to you in return?”

“I’m not sure what kind of friendships you’re used to,” Suga said with a trembling voice, “but I don’t weigh mine based on how much someone’s going to do for me. I’m not expecting anything in return, because he’s not fine. He can’t focus on anything but himself. And I want to support him. It’s my own decision, Daichi.”

They were looking at each other, neither willing to break the eye contact first.

“I’m not sure it’s a wise decision,” Daichi said. “You might end up getting hurt.”

“Then so be it,” Suga said, standing up suddenly. “Every relationship has the potential to end up hurting, but if you don’t risk it, you’ll always be alone.”

“I’m just worried about you,” Daichi said with a gentle voice, looking pleadingly at Suga who was shoving his bento box in his bag.

“It sounds to me like you’re more worried about me making new friends beside you,” Suga said.

“That’s not true at all,” Daichi started, but Suga stopped him.

“I’m done talking to you,” he said. “We can try again when you’ve grown up.”

With that Suga turned his back to his boyfriend and hurried away. He ignored Daichi’s words of asking him to wait, and marched away from the classroom. He had a fierce look on his face, his footsteps determined, and he nearly walked right into Asahi, who was waving at him.

“I’m sorry, Asahi,” Suga said and smiled. “I wasn’t looking.”

“Don’t worry,” the alpha said. “Where’s Daichi?”

“Daichi is a dick,” Suga spat out.

“Did you have a fight?” Asahi asked with a worried look on his face.

“It’s not a big deal,” Suga immediately felt that he had to convince the alpha to not worry. “I’m just really annoyed right now. I’ll talk to him again tomorrow.”

“Are you sure it can wait that long?” Asahi asked, fidgeting.

“Yes,” Suga said, hoping that his voice was calm. “I have to cool down for a bit.”

He patted the alpha reassuringly on the arm.

*

When the pregnancy test came back positive Oikawa didn’t cry, but Suga could see how hard it was for him to remain calm.


	6. Future Planned

Suga walked Oikawa home. Oikawa hadn’t shown much emotion after hearing the result of the pregnancy test, and it bothered Suga, who kept an eye on the omega. His face was gloomy, and Suga wasn’t sure what to say.

“Suga-chan,” Oikawa suddenly said and turned to look at Suga. “Thank you so much for coming with me today.”

“Don’t mention it,” Suga tried to shrug, but Oikawa placed his hands on Suga’s shoulders, looking intently in his eyes.

“I really mean it,” he said. “You don’t even know me that well, and you still took time out of your own life to help me. I really appreciate it.”

“I just did what anyone would have done,” Suga said, unable to face Oikawa’s sincere face.

“No, you have done much more than that,” Oikawa said. “You must have a heart of pure gold.”

Suga blushed at the words, but Oikawa wouldn’t let him turn away. Instead he pulled Suga into a tight hug. Suga smiled and hugged Oikawa back. Oikawa felt warm and safe, and Suga wondered if it always felt like that to hug another omega – friendly and sincere.

“If you ever need more help or just someone to talk to,” Suga said, “you can always contact me.”

Oikawa’s smile was genuine and happy.

“You’re going to make me cry,” he said with an obnoxious laugh, and Suga wondered if he had just seen a part of Oikawa’s true self.

When they reached Oikawa’s house they parted with a smile, but Suga felt uncertain. He didn’t like the fact that Oikawa hadn’t shown any reaction to the news of being pregnant, and he feared that this would be one more issue the omega would bottle away and not tell anyone about. For now he couldn’t do anything, though, so he headed home in thoughts. He was hoping that Oikawa simply needed some time to think about it. It must have been a shock to find out that the one time you forgot about birth control was enough to get pregnant. Not to mention it was the result of such a horrible event.

With a sinking heart Suga wondered if the father could be the rapists or Tanaka, and he was so deep in thought he didn’t notice Daichi waiting for him by his home before the alpha stepped right in front of him.

“Ah,” Suga yelped in surprise, and Daichi took a hold of his arms to help him keep his balance. “I didn’t notice you there.”

“I saw that,” Daichi said with a smile. “Koushi, can we talk?”

Suga was tempted to say no, but the begging look on Daichi’s face would have been enough to melt the coldest heart.

“Of course we can,” he said and opened the door.

Suga’s parents weren’t home yet, but the two made their way to Suga’s room as soon as their shoes were off. Daichi sat down and gestured at Suga to sit down next to him. Suga did, but maintained an unusual distance to remind himself that he was angry at Daichi.

“What do you want to talk about?” Suga asked when Daichi didn’t start talking.

The alpha looked unhappy about the distance between them, but didn’t comment on it. Instead he sighed and raised his eyes to look at Suga.

“I couldn’t just go home knowing that we fought,” he said. “I’m sorry I made you upset.”

“You can’t expect me to always forgive you for repeating the same thing,” Suga said, staring at the floor and trying to bring back the feelings of anger he had felt before.

“Then please, Koushi, tell me what I’m doing wrong,” Daichi said, turning his entire body to face the omega. “I want to be a good boyfriend, but clearly I don’t know how.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” Suga muttered, almost to himself.

“What was that?” Daichi asked.

Suga lifted his head to look at Daichi.

“I think your problem is that instead of trying to be a good boyfriend you’re trying to be a good alpha,” Suga said.

He waited for the words to sink in to Daichi, who was looking confused.

“What’s the difference?” Daichi then asked. “What’s the problem with that?”

Suga took a moment to think. He let his eyes wander around the room, he felt Daichi’s presence next to him, and he wanted to know exactly what to say to fix the situation.

“You keep thinking about what is stereotypically expected of an alpha,” Suga said slowly. “I don’t care about that. I don’t care about the roles society wants to push on us. I don’t want to be a weakling just because I turned out to be an omega. I don’t want you to feel like you need to protect me just because you’re an alpha.”

Daichi remained quiet. Suga wasn’t sure whether it was because the alpha was thinking or because he disagreed.

“I want you to care about me because of who I am,” Suga continued, “and not because you feel the need to keep me out of harm’s way. Can’t you see me as a person instead of as an omega?”

Suga turned to look at Daichi, who was staring at him. The alpha’s mouth was twitching, as if he wanted to say something but didn’t really know what it was. Suga gave him time to think.

“I always thought I did just that,” Daichi finally said. “I see you as you.”

Suga shook his head.

“If that was true you wouldn’t talk about how alphas need to take care of their omegas and stuff,” he said. “It really annoys me, because it sounds like you don’t trust me to be a capable person.”

“Do I really do that?” Daichi asked.

“All the damn time,” Suga said, unable to contain his irritation. “How can you not notice it?”

Daichi looked uncertain and lost.

“And then you mask it as worry,” Suga continued. “Like you keep saying you’re worried Oikawa will be bad for me, but really you’re saying that you don’t think I can make a good decision on my own.”

“I don’t mean that,” Daichi said. “I just want you to be safe. Don’t boyfriends always want each other to be safe and happy?”

“I don’t want to always be safe,” Suga snapped. “Why should I live a life of low risks? I want more than just a safe routine.”

“But it’s important for omegas to stay healthy to bear children,” Daichi said.

“You’re doing it again,” Suga pointed out. “You’re telling me I can’t do what I want because I’m an omega. Undoubtedly your next argument is that as my alpha it’s your duty to make sure I stay fertile so I can breed lots of children.”

“Well,” Daichi said quietly, but Suga didn’t stop to listen.

“Maybe I don’t want children; did you ever think about that?” Suga continued. “I don’t want to be just some kind of birthing machine whose sole purpose in life is to pop out a kid every once in a while. I want to be a person, and I want to do things that I think are interesting, and I don’t care if it puts me and my fertility at risk.”

Daichi had shut his mouth and was looking at Suga with a hint of sadness and worry on his face. Suga was staring at him, almost hoping that he could drive Daichi away just by staring. They both remained quiet. Suga was breathing erratically, like he had just run. Daichi had his eyes on the floor.

“I value tradition,” Daichi said quietly.

“Then maybe I’m not the right omega for you,” Suga said without much thought.

Daichi flinched at the words.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. “I’m just trying to say that’s how I was raised. It’s hard to look past it.”

“Sometimes I feel like you don’t even try,” Suga said.

He turned away from Daichi, suddenly feeling emotional about the situation.

“Maybe I sometimes forget,” Daichi said, “but I do try. When I chose to go out with you, I knew that you were different.”

“Wow, Daichi,” Suga said and stood up. “’When _you chose_ to go out with me’, as if I had nothing to say to it. I’m not different from majority of omegas who just want to be treated as people.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Daichi said.

“Sure you didn’t,” Suga said. “I want you to leave.”

Daichi looked up at Suga, whose heart skipped a beat when he saw tears in the alpha’s eyes. He swallowed, trying to hold on to the feelings of irritation and anger, but they were quickly crumbling into worry.

“I really love you, Koushi,” Daichi said before lowering his eyes and making a move to get up.

“Daichi,” Suga said, stopping the alpha before he could stand up.

Suga looked down to the boy who had been burdened with the expected duties of an alpha, and he felt sorry for every alpha who had to pretend to be stronger than they really were only because of their status. Daichi was looking at him with watery eyes, and Suga wondered if Daichi allowed himself to cry when he was sad. He wondered if Daichi would ever cry in front of him; show such weakness to his own omega.

Without another word Suga sat down on Daichi, straddling his lap, and pulled the alpha into a hug. He rest his head on Daichi’s shoulder, hands pressing against the warm flesh of the alpha’s back.

“I don’t understand,” Daichi sobbed, “how everything I say can be so wrong.”

Suga didn’t say anything. He lifted one hand up to press Daichi’s head against his neck, and the alpha let his head rest there with Suga’s fingers in his hair. Daichi’s scent was different than usual, and Suga wondered if omegas could smell their alpha’s fear. Daichi placed his hands on Suga’s lower back. They were warm and made Suga smile. He didn’t want to say anything, so he remained quiet, simply listening to Daichi’s breathing, trying to catch the beats of his heart. Daichi didn’t say anything either. He sat there in Suga’s embrace, body strong but soft, and his warmth was flowing through Suga’s veins. Daichi pressed a dry kiss on his neck.

“I’m sorry,” Daichi whispered so quietly, it was almost drowned out by the silent hum of the room.

“Daichi,” Suga said quietly, trying his best to keep his voice steady. “I’m afraid of Kageyama, because now I know what he’s capable of doing. I know that he’s never acted threatening towards me, but when you’re an omega among a big group of alphas you can’t help being careful. I used to trust every single person in the team, but then I learned that one of them isn’t quite as trustworthy. I can’t stop wondering about what would happen if I were ever left alone with him, or if I went into heat earlier than expected, or if I just happen to look at him in a certain way he might misinterpret. Not to mention, if one can turn out to be a danger, then why not the others.”

Daichi stayed quiet and calm as Suga talked. Suga’s heart was beating faster when he remembered the initial fear he had felt right after Oikawa’s rape.

“For an omega it’s reckless to leave home when you’re in heat,” Suga continued, “because the scent can affect alphas in strong ways, and not all of them are prepared or willing to control themselves. It shouldn’t be that way, but whenever I know my heat is getting close, I get more nervous about going anywhere, because I’m afraid I’ll attract the wrong kind of attention. It’s been easier because I spend so much time with alphas so my scent isn’t necessarily immediately noticeable, but thinking about the fact that the alphas I used to trust might not be able to control themselves around me makes me so afraid. Daichi, you don’t have to be afraid of seeing your friends because one of them might think you smell so good you’re practically begging for it.”

The silence between them felt heavy, and Suga wasn’t quite sure if Daichi could understand him, no matter how hard he tried to explain it. A part of him didn’t want Daichi to say anything to spare him from the possible disappointment of realising that the alpha couldn’t see it from his point of view.

“I didn’t realise that’s how the world looks like to you,” Daichi said after a moment’s silence. “I guess I never had to think about it. It’s hard to understand, but I think I get it now, or at least a part of it.”

Daichi lifted his head up and looked at Suga.

“Thank you for trying,” he said, “even after I’ve been so hard-headed.”

Suga smiled and bent closer to kiss Daichi’s soft lips.

“It’s true that sometimes I need someone to protect me,” he said against Daichi’s lips, “but I hate it. I hate feeling weak when I want to be strong.”

Daichi tugged Suga closer to him, their chests pressing together, and he lifted a hand to brush at Suga’s hair.

“We should have had this conversation a long time ago,” he said quietly.

Suga nodded. His eyes were closed, and he wanted to know how Daichi saw him. He didn’t open his eyes. Instead he pressed his lips against Daichi’s face, wherever they happened to land, and kissed a trail down towards Daichi’s lips. The alpha let out a low giggle that was a rare sound, and it made Suga beam with happiness.

“Daichi,” he whispered when his lips reached Daichi’s mouth, and he kissed the alpha softly with a smile.

“Koushi, my sugar,” Daichi whispered back.

Suga opened his eyes to look at his alpha.

“I like it when you take control in the bedroom,” Suga whispered.

Daichi hummed in response. His hands dropped down to grab a hold of Suga’s ass. Suga felt the familiar warmth pool into his groin.

“Do I get to protect you when you’re pregnant with our babies?” Daichi asked.

Suga froze at the question, but forced himself to relax quickly. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He closed his mouth to try again.

“We’ll see about that,” he said.

“Did I just completely ruin the mood?” Daichi asked, looking pointedly at Suga.

Suga tried his best, but the pleasant beginning of an arousal was gone.

“Yeah,” he finally said. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Daichi said. “I just really want to have children with you.”

Suga hummed in response and let his head rest on Daichi’s shoulder. He listened to the way the alpha’s voice reverberated through his body when he spoke.

“I keep thinking about us starting our own family,” Daichi said with a dreamy voice, which was new to Suga, “just you and me, and our babies. Sometimes I think about how good you would look pregnant. I want to steal you away, Koushi.”

Suga didn’t say anything. He hummed quietly to let Daichi know he was listening.

“Sometimes I think about how we could do it,” Daichi continued. “We elope after graduation, and during our honeymoon I make sure to get you pregnant. I’ll find a way to support us, and you stay home with the children.”

Suga was glad Daichi couldn’t see the face he was making. He didn’t want to disappoint the alpha, who was sharing his dreams about the future with him for the first time.

“I think about how good it would be to return home after a long day and be greeted by you and the children,” Daichi said with a quiet sigh. “But of course I can’t decide this on my own. You have to have a say in it too. I don’t ever want to make you feel unhappy.”

Daichi went quiet, as if he was waiting for a reply. Suga allowed himself a while longer before answering.

“That sounds so much like you,” he said. “You make it sound so domestic.”

“I want us to get married first before I mark you,” Daichi said.

“Iwaizumi has marked Oikawa already,” Suga said absentmindedly.

It was Daichi’s turn to go stiff. Suga lifted his head to look at the alpha.

“That was just something that came to mind,” he said. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t want to be marked yet. And I guess it would be more romantic to be married first.”

Daichi looked uncertain for a moment, but then broke into a smile. He pulled Suga closer to press a gentle kiss on his lips.

“I want you to always be happy,” he said and kissed Suga again, this time deeper.

Suga opened his mouth to Daichi’s tongue and enjoyed the way it felt against the roof of his mouth, against his teeth, on his lower lip. He followed the trail with his own tongue, pulling Daichi’s lower lip into his mouth and sucking on it. The alpha groaned quietly and his hands slid over Suga’s back to his waist. Suga smelled Daichi’s arousal, and he wanted to get excited too, he wanted to give his body to the alpha, but he couldn’t quite get in the mood.

With a frustrated grunt Suga broke the kiss. He was stroking Daichi’s hair with both hands. The alpha had flushed cheeks and his lips were swollen with the kiss.

“I’m sorry, Daichi,” Suga said. “I don’t think I can today.”

“It’s okay,” Daichi said and stroked Suga’s back with his big hands. “Next time then.”

When Daichi left, Suga let out the sigh he had been holding inside. He tried to focus on his homework, but his thoughts kept going back to how Daichi had described his ideal future. Suga didn’t want to tell Daichi exactly how it made his skin crawl, but he knew he would eventually have to bring it up.

Daichi knew Suga was in college preparatory class and wanted to continue his studies after high school, yet the alpha’s dream didn’t seem to include Suga’s ambitions. Suga had always thought Daichi could tell he wasn’t the type of an omega to want to stay home and look after a bunch of children, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe Daichi was secretly hoping that he would change his mind, but he wasn’t even sure he wanted children in the first place. He had never liked the idea of giving birth after carrying the baby around inside him, it had always made him uneasy, and when he thought about family life he would probably be satisfied with just his mate and a pet.

Thinking about pregnancy made Suga think about Oikawa. He wondered if Oikawa had told Iwaizumi already. He wondered what they would decide to do about it.

With a sigh Suga lowered his head on the desk. He was too young to have to worry about children.


	7. Want to Kiss You Better

Oikawa stayed silent for several days, so Suga let himself fall back to the routine he and Daichi had worked up since they started dating: walk to school together, practise together, go to class together, eat, study and practise together. After school was over they walked home together and went to Daichi’s place to study together. Often they forgot about studying and had sex instead, and Suga felt giddy when he realised that Daichi had finally let loose some of his restraint and was willing to indulge him with rougher sex when he asked for it. He loved the contrast of Daichi’s gentle, sweet touches that reached deep inside him and slowly pulled out his pleasure and Daichi’s harsh thrusts that touched places he hadn’t known would give him such pleasure. Always, with no exception, Daichi held his hand when he finished, and when Suga thought back to it he smiled at how safe it made him feel.

They were walking home, hand in hand, and Daichi had a big smile on his face, when Suga’s phone rang. It was Oikawa, and Suga didn’t waste any time taking the call.

“Suga-chan,” Oikawa chirped on the other end, but there was something in his voice that betrayed his true feelings. “I was wondering if you would have time to hang out today.”

“Sure,” Suga answered.

He had stopped walking and his hand had slipped off of Daichi’s hold. The alpha was standing a few steps away, looking at him with a questioning face.

“Can I come to your place?” Oikawa asked.

“Of course,” Suga replied.

It was clear that there was something Oikawa wanted to talk about in private. Suga wondered if it was because the omega was afraid he would burst to tears and didn’t want to have that happen in public. He was quickly getting worried, and promised to meet Oikawa at a park close to his house.

When the call was over Suga turned to focus on Daichi, who was looking defeated.

“It was Oikawa, right?” the alpha asked.

“Yes,” Suga said. “He clearly needs to talk.”

“I see,” Daichi said and turned to look forward again. “I was really hoping to spend time with you again today.”

“Aww, Daichi,” Suga said and hurried to stand next to the alpha. “We’ve been spending all our time together for a while now.”

He took Daichi’s arm into a hug and looked up at the pouting alpha.

“I know,” Daichi said, and couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. “I just want to spend all my time with you, always.”

Suga laughed light-heartedly and reached up to kiss Daichi’s cheek.

“You’re so adorable,” he said and smiled when a soft blush appeared on the alpha’s face.

“I suppose at least I can walk you part of the way there,” Daichi muttered.

Suga smiled when Daichi turned to give him a quick kiss before they headed to the park. A couple of blocks away they stopped to say goodbye, and continued to different directions. Suga looked at Daichi walk away. The alpha was broad and sturdy in spite of his young age, and for a moment Suga wondered what he would look like when he grew older. He shook his head and turned to head to the park.

Life had always been almost too easy, smooth sailing, and Suga had to admit that he was secretly happy that Oikawa had appeared in his life. He obviously didn’t want for the omega to be unhappy, and the sadness he felt when he thought about what had happened made him ache, but now his routine was broken. Oikawa was a diversion, a welcome distraction, and Suga was hoping that one day Daichi would be able to see that as well.

When Suga arrived, he was surprised to see Oikawa already waiting for him.

“You got here fast,” he said to the taller omega who flashed a bright smile at him.

“Suga-chan!” Oikawa said with an over-exaggerated smile and wave.

“Anything you want to do before heading to my place?” Suga asked.

Oikawa’s smile fell from his face for a moment before it appeared again, although this time it looked more forced.

“No,” he said. “Let’s just go.”

Suga showed the way. Oikawa tried to keep up a friendly, light-hearted chat, but it didn’t sound natural at all. Suga eventually decided to ignore it until they get to the destination, so he participated in the conversation, trying to make it easier for Oikawa to keep up the carefree act.

When they finally made it to Suga’s room and Oikawa sat down, Suga could see how nervous and sad the omega really looked underneath his fake smile. He looked small, like he had shrivelled up after the last time they had seen each other, and Suga was instantly more worried.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing much,” Oikawa said too quickly to be convincing.

“But there’s something you wanted to talk about?” Suga tried. “Isn’t that why you wanted to see me?”

“Am I only allowed to see you when I need something?” Oikawa asked with a laugh.

“Of course not,” Suga said and smiled reassuringly.

He noticed he had been inching closer to Oikawa as they talked.

“How are you?” Oikawa asked.

The question surprised Suga, and he could give an answer immediately. Oikawa laughed quietly.

“I just realised that’s the first time I’ve ever asked you,” he said. “It’s always been about me. I don’t understand why you keep being so good to me when I haven’t even asked you the simplest question.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Suga said and smiled. “I realise you’ve been going through a lot. It’s easy to forget about others when you’re so preoccupied with your own problems.”

Oikawa nodded but looked sad. It looked like a different kind of sad compared to what Suga had seen on Oikawa’s face before, and it convinced him that Oikawa really cared about him.

“I’ve been fine,” he said when Oikawa remained quiet. “Daichi and I haven’t even fought lately.”

“Do you often fight then?” Oikawa asked.

“Sometimes,” Suga said. “I have my own insecurities and then I get angry at Daichi when he doesn’t understand it. But it’s only natural for people to fight sometimes, especially when they’re close.”

“I had a fight with Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, almost absentmindedly, like it was something he wasn’t really thinking about.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Suga said. “Why did you fight?”

“He’s angry at me,” Oikawa said and pulled his legs up to shield his body.

“Why?” Suga asked.

Oikawa drummed the floor with his fingertips.

“Because I cheated on him,” Oikawa said.

His voice was quiet and broken, and Suga found himself frowning.

“Do you mean what happened with Tanaka?” he asked.

Oikawa quickly looked at him, eyes wide and lips trembling.

“You knew,” he said, horrified, his voice coming out in a squeal.

Suga nodded, and Oikawa turned his eyes to the floor.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Suga said.

He had moved closer to Oikawa and was now sitting right beside him.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he repeated. “You couldn’t help it. He should understand how horrible it is to be in heat and not get what you want.”

Oikawa was drawing patterns on the floor with his finger. He was staring at the way the finger moved over the surface.

“Sometimes I wish Kageyama had never been interrupted,” Oikawa said, eyes glued to his finger. “Maybe he would have sated my lust enough to prevent me from wanting more.”

“Don’t,” Suga said and grabbed Oikawa’s shoulders on a strong hold. “Don’t say things like that. It wasn’t your fault.”

Oikawa reluctantly turned to look at Suga.

“It was all my fault,” he said with tears in his eyes. “If Kageyama had a chance to do more, then maybe I wouldn’t have asked for it. I couldn’t control myself when I should have.”

“Stop,” Suga said, blinking his own eyes to avoid crying. “Of course you couldn’t control yourself. You know how heat clouds your rational mind. You know how it works, and you can’t blame yourself for letting it take over.”

“I never wanted anyone else but Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sobbed, and a single tear ran down his cheek.

“And that’s all that matters,” Suga said, wiping the tear away with his thumb. “He will understand. He’s just upset about it. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Another tear fell from Oikawa’s eye, and Suga was blinking again to keep his vision from blurring more.

“It’s been nearly a week,” Oikawa said. “He doesn’t love me anymore.”

Suga shook his head and placed a hand on Oikawa’s neck where Iwaizumi’s mark was visible for the entire world to see.

“He loves you,” Suga said.

Oikawa sniffled and tears ran down his face. He wiped them away with his hands and smiled weakly.

“I love Iwa-chan so much,” he said.

“He knows that,” Suga said when Oikawa bent forward to rest his forehead on Suga’s shoulder.

Oikawa whimpered in response, and Suga stroked his back.

“Does he know you’re pregnant?” Suga asked.

He felt how Oikawa shook his head.

“He left before I could tell him,” the omega said without lifting his head.

“You should tell him,” Suga said. “He’ll want to be there for you.”

Oikawa placed his arms around Suga in a loose hug.

“You’re the sweetest person I have ever met,” he said.

Suga smiled and continued stroking Oikawa’s back and arms in soothing motions, his other hand resting on Oikawa’s lower back. He could feel how the omega started to relax and calm down, and eventually he stopped crying. Suga stroked his hair until he lifted his head up.

“Thank you,” Oikawa said. “And I’m sorry.”

Suga shook his head with a smile, and Oikawa smiled back. His eyes were red and swollen, and Suga wanted to kiss his eyelids to make him feel better, but quickly chastised himself for thinking about such things. Oikawa wouldn’t want anyone to touch him like that unless it was his own alpha, and there was a limit to how much an omega could touch another omega without it getting weird.

“Actually, now that I’m here,” Oikawa suddenly said, although hesitating slightly, “can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Suga said.

“Do I look bigger to you?” Oikawa asked.

Suga pondered about the question. He wasn’t quite sure what Oikawa meant by it, but he wasn’t sure how to ask for a clarification either.

“In what way?” he finally asked.

“I’m getting fat,” Oikawa immediately said with a worried look on his face. “I can already see how the pregnancy is making me fat.”

“No, no,” Suga rushed to say. “Your body doesn’t look different at all.”

“What about my nipples?” Oikawa asked. “Can you tell they’ve gotten bigger?”

Suga blushed when he looked at Oikawa’s chest and tried to make out where his nipples would be pressing against his clothes.

“No, I don’t think they’re visible at all,” he finally said.

“Are you sure?” Oikawa asked, looking down at himself. “They’re so much bigger.”

Before Suga had a chance to comment on it, Oikawa was already pulling his shirt up to reveal his naked chest.

“See?” he asked, presenting his chest to Suga, who felt like his face was on fire.

Suga was definitely looking at Oikawa’s chest. It was smooth and beautiful, his pecs nicely defined. He forced his eyes to stop on a nipple, and he was surprised to see how swollen the areola and the area right next to it was.

“Oh,” he let out and leaned closer before he could stop himself. “They’re really swelling.”

“I told you,” Oikawa said desperately.

Oikawa’s nipples were also slightly bigger than Suga would have expected, so he assumed they had swollen too. He wanted to reach out and touch them to feel if they were as soft as they looked. He turned to look at Oikawa’s eyes.

“I’m sorry to tell you,” he started, “but you’re right: eventually they will grow big enough to be visible through your clothes. For now, though, they’re still flat enough to be hidden by your shirt.”

Oikawa looked pained by that, but let his shirt drop down to cover his chest.

“What am I going to do when people notice?” he asked, but Suga was sure he wasn’t expecting an answer.

“You should talk to Iwaizumi,” Suga said, “and figure out what to do about the baby.”

Oikawa nodded shortly.

“It’s weird,” he said, “to think that there’s life growing inside me. I don’t understand it.”

Suga nodded in understanding. He would probably feel the same.

“It’s scary too,” Oikawa said. “I never thought about having a baby this early on. I would still have time to graduate, but there’s no way I could continue to a university with a baby.”

“It’s a big change,” Suga said. “Are you ready for it? Some people do have babies when they’re young.”

Oikawa nodded in thought.

“I wouldn’t be able to play volleyball,” he said.

“You don’t have to quit completely,” Suga pointed out.

Oikawa stayed quiet for a moment. Suga let him think.

“I really don’t know what to do,” Oikawa finally sighed. “I don’t know what I want.”

“You’re going to have to figure it out before it’s too late,” Suga said and pat Oikawa’s shoulder.


	8. Warmth

Something that Suga found hard to understand was Oikawa’s insecurity over his looks. He texted Suga almost every day about how fat he was becoming, and Suga had to try to convince him over and over again that the changes pregnancy would cause didn’t come in such a short period of time. He invited Oikawa out, and the omega turned down any snacks because he was certain he was gaining too much weight too fast. Suga tried to not look at him with pity, and instead smiled and told Oikawa how beautiful he was.

When Oikawa wasn’t there Suga had a scowl on his face when thinking about it. He didn’t know much about Oikawa’s past of any other issues he might have on top of his unexpected pregnancy, but he was starting to feel like the omega had a bad relationship with food. However, the next time they were hanging out, Oikawa was eating like you would expect a normal person to eat. Suga tried to watch Oikawa for any signs of forcing himself, but the omega looked absolutely natural.

It was, in fact, obvious that Oikawa and Iwaizumi had made up; Oikawa was almost glowing, his smiles weren’t forced, and he laughed a lot. He was starting to look like the Oikawa Suga had first seen on the opposing side of the court during their joint practise, and he remembered thinking that this omega should have been an alpha. He had actually thought Oikawa to be an alpha until he saw him interact with Iwaizumi, the hints of submission giving away his true nature. Being alone with Oikawa like this was different than before, and it made Suga nervous.

He’s still just an omega, Suga reminded himself. He’s just like you.

Another thing that had changed was how Oikawa didn’t talk about how fat he was getting. Instead he sent Suga texts that were upbeat and unexpectedly cute for someone who often acted as cool as he did, and they always made Suga smile.

“What are you smiling at?” Daichi asked him one day, when he had just read a text from Oikawa.

“Just something,” Suga said and sent a quick reply.

“Should I be getting jealous?” Daichi asked.

Suga turned to look at the alpha who was trying not to laugh.

“Getting jealous over another omega,” Suga said slowly, thoughtfully. “Wouldn’t that be a waste of your time?”

Suga didn’t miss the flash of a sour look on Daichi face when the alpha realised who they were talking about.

“So what’s going on with Oikawa?” he asked with a polite smile.

“He’s okay for now,” Suga said.

He wondered if Daichi realised what a terrible liar he was. The alpha’s face was stiff while it tried to be carefree, and Suga would have laughed if it wouldn’t give Daichi a clue about how silly he looked.

“That’s nice,” Daichi said.

His voice was stiff too, almost formal, and Suga allowed himself to smile at it.

“Daichi,” Suga said with a gentle voice. “You’re really stupid sometimes.”

The forced smile fell off Daichi’s face and he looked at Suga questioningly. Suga simply shrugged and refused to explain.

That afternoon they headed to Suga’s place, hand in hand. The moment Suga pulled his bedroom door closed behind them he took a hold of Daichi’s shirt collar and pulled the alpha closer.

“Daichi,” he said, voice out of breath.

“Koushi,” Daichi replied before bending down to kiss Suga.

Daichi’s mouth was warm and sweet, and Suga opened his lips for the alpha’s tongue. Daichi didn’t waste any time taking the offer, and his tongue slid over Suga’s own, licking and tasting everything he could. His hands were on Suga’s cheeks, and Suga pressed their bodies closer, chest to chest, and rolled his groin against Daichi. He touched all over the alpha’s body, starting from his neck and sliding down to his firm ass, and Daichi groaned into the kiss, slick sounds filling the air around them as Suga felt Daichi getting hard against his lower belly. He rarely touched the alpha’s ass like this, and was now taking full advantage of it, kneading the muscular flesh with his hands.

Daichi moved forward, leading Suga towards the bed, his hands never leaving the omega’s face, and Suga giggled. Before Daichi could lower him to the bed, Suga turned them around, pushing the surprised alpha down to the bed instead, straddling his hips himself. Their kiss broke, and Suga looked down with a smile. Daichi was already breathing faster, and his lips were slick with saliva, glistening in the light of the room.

“Daichi,” Suga purred and didn’t miss the way the alpha’s hips reacted to his voice. “I want to suck your dick.”

“What?” Daichi asked with a single breath, already lifting his upper body off the bed.

“Stay down, Daichi,” Suga said softly and pushed gently on the alpha’s shoulders.

Before Daichi had shown whether he was going to lie back down or not, Suga already slipped off his lap and placed himself between his strong legs. Suga proceeded to open his pants and pulled them down. Daichi was half-hard, his cock pressing a nice shape against his underwear, and Suga wondered why he had never done this before. He pulled the underwear away, stripping Daichi’s legs bare, even taking the time to get rid of his socks before turning back to see how the alpha’s cock was nestled in the dark hair that had always made Suga happy to look at. The fact that Daichi had thick pubic hair made him seem so manly, so wild, and sometimes when Suga had to get himself off he thought about Daichi’s cock dripping pre-come into the coarse hair.

Suga spread Daichi’s legs wider to get a better view, and he licked his lips at the sight. He glanced up at Daichi, who was looking at him uncertainly, but Suga chose to ignore that to focus on what he wanted the most right now. He pressed his lips on Daichi’s knee, sliding little kisses over the skin of his left leg before turning to pay attention to the right leg. He sucked tiny marks on it, soothing them with his tongue, and he enjoyed feeling the muscles twitch with every touch. His hands were on Daichi’s legs too, stroking the skin, feeling the muscular strength of them on his palms, and his own cock stirred against his pants. He smelled the musk of Daichi’s cock so close to him his mouth was salivating, and he didn’t want to wait any longer.

With Daichi still intently looking at him with his brows furrowed, Suga turned to face his cock that had gotten harder with all the attention paid to his legs. Suga took a hold of the shaft with his hand, the other hand sliding to Daichi’s hip, his thumb stroking the skin. He swallowed before opening his mouth and licking at the underside of the cock. It tasted slightly salty and sweaty, but distinctly like Daichi. Suga lapped on the tip, and Daichi made tiny sounds deep in his throat at that. With a smile Suga continued lavishing attention to the tip just to hear Daichi react. With a smile he opened his mouth and took the tip in. Daichi grunted at that, his entire body jolting, and Suga sucked carefully, trying to mind his teeth. He looked up at Daichi to see the alpha staring at him, biting his lower lip and brows still furrowed but differently than before.

When their eyes met Daichi reached a hand down to take a hold of Suga’s hair. It was careful and soft, but every time Suga sucked on his cock, it tightened, sending sparks all over Suga’s body, ending up in his groin. Suga popped the cock out of his mouth and took a moment to think as well as rest his jaw. He used his hand to continue pleasuring Daichi, and wondered how much he could fit in his mouth without accidentally hurting Daichi with his teeth. He had always known Daichi had a big cock – even for alpha standards it was above average – but he had never realised how big it really was until now that he wanted to fit it all in his mouth.

Suga licked a wide striped from base to tip before opening his mouth again and lowering down on the tip. He let Daichi’s hand guide his head, bobbing up and down on just the tip, until he went lower. Daichi’s hold of his hair tightened considerably, and Suga moaned against the cock in his mouth. He knew Daichi was trying to pull him away, but he continued taking in more of the cock, until the tip was hitting the back of his throat. His heart was beating in nervousness as he was half expecting to gag anytime soon, but it didn’t happen. Instead he slowly pulled off, until just the tip was in his mouth again, before going down once more.

Daichi’s tiny grunts had turned into proper moans as Suga was sliding his mouth up and down on his length. Daichi’s hold of his hair was now tight, and Suga figured that the alpha was so lost in pleasure he didn’t pay attention to it anymore. Suga went down again, this time a bit faster than earlier, and before he even realised it he was gagging. Suga hardly even had time to understand it before Daichi was pulling him off with both hands, and he let the cock drop out of his mouth as he coughed weakly.

“Koushi, are okay?” Daichi asked.

His face and voice made it seem like Suga had just been in a terrible accident, and the omega couldn’t help laughing at it.

“Daichi, you’re too much,” he said with a smile. “I’m perfectly fine. Let me continue.”

“No, no, Koushi,” Daichi said, sitting up properly.

He was holding Suga’s head in his hands, one hand still in his hair, the other stroking his cheek.

“You already did so much for me,” he said with loving eyes, “and it was amazing. You’re amazing, sugar.”

“But,” Suga started but didn’t continue.

He looked up at Daichi, whose eyes were a mix of love and pride and happiness, and he melted into a wide smile.

“Koushi,” Daichi whispered and bent down to kiss him. “I want to fuck you. No, I need to fuck you. Take off your pants.”

Startled by Daichi’s choice of words Suga kissed him once more before the alpha let go of his hair, and he stood up to get rid of his clothes. Daichi had only told him to get rid of his pants, so that’s what he did before climbing onto Daichi’s lap, the alpha’s cock rubbing against his ass.

“Wow, you’re so hard,” Daichi said a reached out to pump Suga’s small cock with his big hand. “You really enjoyed giving head, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Suga breathed, hips pushing into Daichi’s touch.

“You’re so wet too,” Daichi said with awe in his voice.

“I love you, Daichi,” Suga said. “I love your cock, and I love the smell and taste of it.”

Daichi chuckled as Suga started rolling his hips, the alpha’s cock rubbing between their bodies.

“I can’t believe you can just say all that,” Daichi said, his eyes fixated on the way Suga’s cock was entirely covered by his hand.

Suga smiled and reached back to take a hold of Daichi’s cock. The alpha grunted when it slipped inside Suga’s tight hole.

“Fuck me, Daichi,” Suga said, hands resting on Daichi’s chest and ass flush against Daichi’s hips.

The alpha moaned, but let go of Suga’s cock to take a hold of his hips. He stroked at the skin with his thumbs before guiding Suga up and then slamming him down. The next time he pushed his hips up when pulling Suga down and the force of it made Suga’s entire body jerk. With each thrust of Daichi’s hips, each slap of skin against skin, Suga let out a throaty moan. Suga worked himself to gain more speed, and Daichi complied. Suga was leaning against the alpha’s chest, mouth open and eyes closed, body convulsing every time Daichi’s cock rubbed against his prostate.

“Daichi,” Suga moaned. “Make me come like this.”

Daichi moved his hands from Suga’s hips to his ass, his fingertips grazing at the muscle that was spread tight around his cock, and Suga whimpered with the added touch. Daichi pulled his cheeks apart and squished them back together, never faltering with his thrusts or losing speed. Suga’s legs were shaking with the effort to ride Daichi’s cock as fast as he could, but he wanted to come untouched, he wanted to keep it up until the pleasure that had been building up inside him would explode and take him with it. Daichi’s fingers were feeling the place where they were joined together, and Suga imagined how his pubic hair was messy and sticky with his slick. Suga moved his hands just slightly to feel Daichi’s nipples with his fingertips, and when Daichi pushed up the next time, the angle was just right to hit Suga’s prostate dead on, and Suga came with a cry, strands of infertile seed shooting on Daichi’s stomach and shirt, and Suga’s arms gave out.

Lying on top of Daichi Suga could hear the way Daichi was breathing harsh right next to his ear, and weakly he thought that he should have lie down sooner. Daichi didn’t stop or slow down; he continued his hard thrusts until his knot was making it harder to move, until he was locked inside Suga and his release deep inside the omega’s ass. Daichi laughed quietly, and Suga lifted himself up enough to look at his face that was giddy.

“What’s with you?” Suga asked, amused.

“It was so good,” Daichi said with a giggle that made Suga laugh too.

“It sure was good,” Suga said and kissed Daichi’s sweaty forehead.

“Maybe we should have taken all our clothes off, though,” Daichi said, trying to be serious but the smile on his face completely ruining the effect.

Suga agreed and sat up on Daichi’s lap to peel his sweaty shirt off. Daichi was looking at him opening the buttons one by one, revealing more of his skin with each open button. He reached up to slide his hand over Suga’s skin while Suga tossed the shirt on the floor.

“You have such a good body,” Daichi said, eyes glued to the way his hand slid over Suga’s muscles.

Suga blushed at that. He was never prepared for Daichi’s praise, and always wanted to argue that he wasn’t that amazing, that he needed more defined muscles to be something good, but he had learned to accept Daichi’s compliments. So he put on a smile, reminding himself that Daichi wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it.

Daichi’s hand found its way to Suga’s lower stomach and brushed against the half-hard cock. Suga breathed in with the touch.

“So sensitive,” Daichi pondered, hand sliding to Suga’s hip and down his thigh.

Suga was used to getting off more than once when they had sex, but this time he didn’t feel like going for another round. He enjoyed the way Daichi’s hands felt on his skin, how Daichi’s eyes were following the hand over his body, and he wanted to see Daichi too. Suga started opening the alpha’s shirt, Daichi’s hands resting on his thighs, and when Daichi’s shirt was open Suga lay down on the alpha.

“You’re so warm,” he said quietly.

Daichi moved his right hand up Suga’s leg, past his ass and to his back, where he let it rest. The alpha didn’t say anything, merely hummed quietly and kissed the side of Suga’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _@mean_whale_ Deep down in my core I will always be a porn author, I tell myself as I include unnecessary porn scenes in my plot  
>  _@mean_whale_ Like I'm so much of a porn author I'm not even trying to tell myself this sex is somehow plot related  
>  _@mean_whale_ I have accepted my true nature


	9. Thoughts

It was getting late when Oikawa showed up at Suga’s doorstep. He looked thoughtful, but then flashed a bright smile, asking to hang out for a while. Suga’s parents were still gone, so Suga invited Oikawa in. When they settled in his bedroom, Oikawa looked around in thought before turning to Suga almost suddenly.

“How are you and Sawamura doing?” he asked.

It was an unexpected question, and Suga had to take a moment to collect his thoughts.

“We’re fine, I guess,” he said. “He just left a moment ago.”

Oikawa nodded slowly, seemingly deep in thought as he looked around.

“Yeah I can smell him,” he said.

Suga blushed and wondered how much his room smelled like sex. Of course he hadn’t noticed it himself. He got up and opened the window.

“I’m sorry,” he said without looking at Oikawa. “I didn’t realise.”

“Don’t worry,” Oikawa said. “There’s just the lingering scent of alpha pheromones in the air. Nothing too revealing.”

Suga turned to look at Oikawa who was smiling mischievously.

“I take it that you two are doing well then,” Oikawa said. “If you were fighting you wouldn’t be having sex, right?”

Suga nodded, although the conversation was making him slightly uneasy. Daichi was the only person he had ever talked to about his own sex life.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Oikawa said with a gentle smile. “I got laid today too.”

“Oh,” was the only thing Suga could say.

He was sitting next to Oikawa, staring at his own hands. He wondered why Oikawa had come. There was certain uneasiness in the omega, but the way he was chatting away seemed relatively natural.

“Is he kinky? Sawamura?” Oikawa asked next.

Suga was sure he hadn’t blushed like this since he and Daichi had started going out and everything was still new and slightly embarrassing.

“No,” Suga finally managed. “He’s very gentle.”

“Kinky could be gentle too,” Oikawa pointed out, but then smiled at the way Suga swallowed. “He seems like the kind of a guy who wants to take care of you.”

Suga nodded. He heard buzzing from Oikawa’s pocket, but the other omega didn’t react to it at all.

“Are you happy with that?” Oikawa then asked.

Suga glanced at Oikawa and shrugged.

“It’s good,” he said.

The buzzing stopped, and Oikawa pulled his phone out. He did something before putting it back in his pocket.

“That sounds like you’re settling for something less than you’d really like to,” Oikawa said. “I guess it’s okay if you like it.”

“Do you and Iwaizumi want the same things then?” Suga asked before he could stop himself.

“We’re sexually compatible,” Oikawa said with a grin. “I’m not sure how it happened. Maybe it’s because we were always together. He was my first one, and I’m pretty sure I was his first one too.”

“You think you have grown to like the same things?” Suga asked.

It was Oikawa’s turn to shrug.

“It’s a possibility, isn’t it,” he said. “He knows what I usually want, I know what he likes, and we’re both open to ideas.”

Suga took a moment to think about how different it would be, if he and Daichi had similar ideas about their sex life. While Daichi had learned to let go just a little bit of his control, it was impossible to imagine him ever getting properly rough with Suga. The thought almost made the omega laugh.

“You’re lucky,” Suga said to Oikawa. “I’d assume it’s not easy to find someone who understands you.”

There was a flash of pain on Oikawa’s face before he smiled again.

“That’s right,” he said. “But it’s also not easy to find someone who knows how to make you feel good, so you’ve got that covered.”

Suga nodded, although he wasn’t quite sure if good sex would really make a good relationship.

”Have you ever thought about being marked by him?” Oikawa asked.

”Thought about it, yes,” Suga replied, ”but I don’t know if I want to.”

”Oh,” Oikawa said, clearly surprised. ”Why?”

Suga took a moment to think.

”Wouldn’t it be too early for that?” he asked.

Oikawa touched his own mark, and Suga was certain it was an unconscious reaction.

”Iwa-chan marked me,” he said quietly.

”But your relationship is so long,” Suga pointed out. ”You’ve known each other since you were children, haven’t you? Daichi and I haven’t even dated two years yet.”

”That’s a good point,” Oikawa said, still thoughtfully stroking the mark on his neck.

”Besides Daichi wants to get married before marking,” Suga continued.

”Do you?” Oikawa asked.

Suga shook his head slowly.

”I don’t know,” he said. ”I’ve never really thought about it.”

”You don’t care even if you never get married?” Oikawa asked.

Suga shrugged.

”For now, no,” he said, ”but who really knows. Maybe I’ll warm up to the idea.”

Oikawa nodded and dropped the subject. They started talking about volleyball, until Oikawa took a look at his phone again.

“It’s getting late,” he said. ”I should go home.”

Oikawa left, leaving Suga slightly unnerved. He knew that Oikawa had something to talk about, and he was confident it wasn’t their sex lives or his thoughts on marriage.

*

The following day Oikawa invited Suga over to his place. He had the same thoughtful look on his face, and Suga tried to understand what it meant. There was an air of sorrow surrounding the omega, and Suga was startled to see how well he was hiding it when they stopped to greet his parents. The way Oikawa immediately went from easy-going and bright to gloomy and guarded when they settled in his bedroom was nearly frightening.

“I take it you haven’t told your parents anything,” Suga said carefully.

Oikawa just nodded, sitting with his knees up and chest pressed against them. Suga was touched by the fact that around him Oikawa didn’t feel the need to pretend everything was fine, but it also broke his heart to think how much effort it must have taken for Oikawa to hide his pain from the world.

Suga was still deep in thought when Oikawa said:

“Iwa-chan doesn’t want the baby.”

Suga blinked a couple of times before the words registered in his mind. He felt his stomach sink with the way Oikawa’s posture had slumped even more, how he looked like every second he was shrinking slightly more.

“And you had decided to keep it?” Suga asked.

Oikawa nodded. Suga had been under the impression that he and Iwaizumi had already talked about it earlier and decided to keep the baby from the way Oikawa hadn’t said anything about the possibility of an abortion since their previous conversation on the matter. He wondered if there had been a conversation leaving Oikawa under the same impression until later.

“I guess it’s just natural,” Oikawa mumbled, “for an alpha to not want to raise another alpha’s child.”

“That’s stupid,” Suga said immediately.

He looked at the way Oikawa was leaning his cheek on his hand that was pressed against his knee, and how tired the other omega looked. The uncertainty of adulthood had suddenly taken over his once carefree life and was weighing him down until he was only a shadow of the boy he had been before. Suga reached out to stroke his hair in comfort. He wanted to fix everything, wanted to declare that everything would work out fine, and that he would support Oikawa through everything, but he knew he couldn’t. So instead he stroked the other omega’s hair and hoped that it was enough to convey his feelings. He wished he could stroke away all of Oikawa’s problems.

“I’m not willing to let him go,” Oikawa said with a sigh.

Suga’s heart ached with how much love there was in the omega’s voice. He wanted to question the other boy, do something to change things, but he felt that Oikawa had decided.

“I’m too young to have a baby anyway,” Oikawa said and hid his face behind his knees.

Silently Suga agreed with him, but also thought about what a good father Oikawa would undoubtedly make. When Oikawa asked him to accompany him to the abortion, he agreed.

“Shouldn’t Iwaizumi go with you?” he asked out of duty.

“I don’t want to talk to him right now,” Oikawa said without lifting his head.

There it was again, something that Suga had noticed it before; Oikawa’s unwillingness to talk about difficult things with his alpha. He didn’t know how the two had managed to maintain a relationship of any kind with this lack of communication, and every time he wanted to push Oikawa to talk and work things out. He knew, however, that Oikawa had been fragile ever since the day they crossed, and he didn’t want to do anything that Oikawa could interpret as him pushing the other away.

“Do you know he slapped me when I told him what had happened,” Oikawa said, and Suga flinched.

He had been there when Iwaizumi had smelled sex on Oikawa, he had seen the way the alpha went from zero to a hundred in a second, how he let his aggressive alpha nature come out unrestrained, and it had scared him. He had seen Daichi get intense, but never aggressive, always keeping himself in check. He had been scared that Iwaizumi would attack Daichi. That said, he had also witnessed the way Iwaizumi went from aggressive to caring the moment Oikawa seemed to be in any kind of danger, and he would have never imagined that the alpha could lash out on his omega.

“Has he hit you before or since?” Suga asked, wondering if he should report the incident.

“No,” Oikawa said and let his body drop sideways to the bed. “And he did apologise.”

“He still shouldn’t have,” Suga said.

He crawled closer to Oikawa and lay down next to him. He wrapped his hand around Oikawa a bit too carelessly, poking at Oikawa’s arm. The omega jolted, and Suga rose up to see what was going on.

“Did you hurt your arm?” he asked.

The way Oikawa was avoiding his questions made him suspicious, and he slowly peeled back the sleeve to reveal Oikawa’s arm. He gasped at the sight of smooth skin broken by countless lines of red, scabby wounds and scars in their first states of healing. He looked at each mark separately, trying to understand what he was seeing while wondering how old the oldest ones were and how recent the newest one was. He felt like he was suffocating.

“Oh, Oikawa,” he said and pulled the omega into a tight hug. “I wish I had known sooner.”

“You’re going to make me cry,” Oikawa said.

Oikawa didn’t cry. Suga held the omega in an embrace and felt calmness take over him, a tiny smile appearing on his face. Suga, however, shed tears, his head pressed against Oikawa’s back and let sorrow wash over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm annoyed that I wrote over 800 words of stuff that I ended up deleting because it didn't work.


	10. End of a Chapter

Suga was waiting for Oikawa at Daichi’s place, because Daichi’s parents were out. His own parents were home, and he wanted to avoid getting Oikawa in an awkward situation in case they wanted to ask them where they were going. In order to do that, he had promised Daichi to explain what was going on, after asking Oikawa if it was okay. So now he was sitting on the couch between Daichi’s strong legs, resting against the alpha’s chest. Daichi was stroking his stomach and thighs in a soothing manner, although Suga couldn’t help wondering if the alpha was trying to excite him. He didn’t catch any kind of scent of arousal from Daichi, so he allowed himself to enjoy the closeness of the other person.

“Oikawa is pregnant,” he said, and Daichi’s hands paused for a moment before continuing their movements. “He’s going to have an abortion.”

Daichi stayed silent. He was warm, and Suga closed his eyes for a moment to forget about the pain he had witnessed Oikawa go through.

“Are they sure they don’t want the baby?” Daichi asked.

“Apparently so,” Suga said. “I’m sure they talked about it properly.”

“That’s sad,” Daichi said quietly, his jaw resting on Suga’s head. “I’ve always felt so conflicted about abortions.”

“Me too, but it’s not my place to judge,” Suga said. “I would have probably ended up doing the same.”

“Really?” Daichi asked, causing Suga to sigh.

“Really, Daichi,” he said. “I’m way too young to even think about having a baby.”

Daichi hummed in response, but Suga didn’t know what it meant. He didn’t care to know right now, so he simply stay put, letting the tension from his body melt away with Daichi’s caress.

“What about after graduation?” Daichi finally asked.

“What?” Suga asked in turn.

He had been thinking about Oikawa, and how his daily cheerful texts had been feeling hollow lately.

“Would you be ready to have a child after we graduate?” Daichi elaborated.

“Graduate what?” Suga asked. “High school?”

“Mm-hm,” Daichi hummed in response.

Suga felt himself unconsciously lean away from Daichi, took a deep breath, and forced himself to relax again.

“Daichi,” he started slowly. “Graduation is less than a year away. It’s not enough time.”

“But you never know,” Daichi said with a hopeful tint to his voice.

“I’m pretty sure I know,” Suga said.

Daichi fell silent again, and Suga didn’t feel the need to continue on the matter. He thought about Oikawa again. He was scared of going to the hospital with him. Oikawa himself must be feeling even worse.

“I’m worried about him,” Suga said quietly.

“Oikawa? You should put your own life before him,” Daichi said.

“He needs a friend,” Suga said, doing his best to keep irritation out of his voice and mind.

“I’m still worried you’re friends with him for the wrong reasons,” Daichi said.

“What are those wrong reasons then?” Suga asked and felt thankful that Daichi couldn’t see him roll his eyes.

“I feel like you’re doing it out of some weird sense of responsibility,” Daichi said, “just because you happened to be the only omega still around when it happened. You don’t need to see to that he recovers. That’s why he has an alpha.”

“Fuck you, Daichi,” Suga spat and stood up. “We’ve been through this same conversation over and over again, and still you repeat the same things.”

“But it’s true that he has an alpha who cares about him,” Daichi pointed out.

“And you think that’s all an omega needs?” Suga asked, eyes turning to slits as he stared down to his boyfriend who was looking up with an innocent face. “An omega just needs an alpha to take care of him – who cares about friendships with other omegas or such.”

“That’s not exactly what I was trying to say,” Daichi said.

“What did you try to say then?” Suga asked, crossing his arms.

“It’s not your responsibility to make sure he’s okay,” Daichi tried.

“How are you so dense?” Suga asked with a deep frown. “Jesus, Daichi. I chose to make it my ‘responsibility’, if that’s the word you want to use. I want to help him.”

“But I don’t understand why,” Daichi said.

The face he was making was confused, and Suga shook his head.

“You don’t understand why people choose to be friends with other people?” he asked, making sure Daichi could clearly hear how unconvinced he was.

“Of course I understand that,” Daichi started, but Suga didn’t let him continue.

“So why then is it so fucking hard for you to accept my friendship with him?” Suga asked.

He was trying to keep his voice stable, but could hear it cracking at the edges.

“You know that there are only two omegas in Seijou’s team,” he continued, “and the other omega is Oikawa’s kouhai. It’s not like he’s going to open up to someone two years his junior about something like this.”

“Why do you think he would only make friends with his teammates?” Daichi asked pointedly.

The alpha’s voice felt like a stab to Suga, and it was becoming harder to stand up straight with his head held high with tears prickling at his eyes.

“His closest friends are on the team,” Suga said and swallowed. “They are all alphas. They don’t understand certain things like omegas do.”

The way Daichi looked at Suga was somehow vulnerable, but Suga didn’t want to stop to wonder why.

“He literally doesn’t have a single friend who’s omega other than me,” Suga continued.

“Aren’t you the one always talking about how it shouldn’t matter whether someone is alpha or omega?” Daichi pointed out.

“That’s how it should be,” Suga said, “but it’s not, because there are certain things I’m not sure alphas will ever understand. Sometimes an omega just needs another omega.”

Daichi was quietly looking up at Suga, who was breathing harshly through his nose, pressing his lips tightly together to stop them from trembling.

“Are you only friends with him because you feel that he needs an omega friend?” Daichi asked.

Suga didn’t want to face Daichi anymore with tears filling his eyes. He shook his head and looked up.

“It’s because you need an omega friend,” Daichi stated.

Suga didn’t look at him or move. He felt tears slowly run down his cheeks. He heard Daichi stand up.

“I had no idea,” the alpha said before pulling him into a tight embrace.

Suga lowered his head to Daichi’s shoulder, tears seeping into the fabric of his shirt.

“I’m tired of always having to convince everyone that I belong there,” Suga mumbled against Daichi.

“Do you really feel like you have to do that?” Daichi asked. “I didn’t think you did. I thought that you were always yourself.”

“I don’t know if I really do it,” Suga continued talking into Daichi’s shirt. “I just feel like I do. I feel like I’m constantly in danger of being looked down to just because I’m not an alpha like the rest of you.”

“You don’t have to be afraid of that,” Daichi said and stroked Suga’s back. “We all appreciate you and respect you.”

Suga sniffed.

“I really want to believe that,” he muttered.

“You’re really amazing, Koushi,” Daichi said gently. “You have all these feelings trapped inside you, yet you find it in you to also worry about Oikawa.”

Thinking about the other omega made Suga cry harder. He felt Daichi’s surprise, but soon the alpha was stroking his back again, slowly pulling him back to the couch.

“I want to make everything better for him,” Suga cried. “He’s in so much pain but he won’t talk about it.”

“How can you tell?” Daichi asked.

“He’s hurt himself, Daichi,” Suga let slip. “I saw it and it felt like his wounds were on me too.”

“You really feel a strong connection to him,” Daichi said slowly.

Suga nodded against Daichi’s chest.

“He’s so badly hurt but doesn’t want to bother anyone with it,” Suga sniffled. “And he still finds the energy to listen to me when I have something on my mind.”

Daichi kissed Suga’s hair.

“What kind of things do you have on your mind?” he asked carefully.

Suga slowly lifted his head up. His eyes were heavy from crying, but the tears were drying up.

“I feel like we’re always fighting,” he said quietly.

Daichi smiled sadly and kissed Suga’s forehead.

“I don’t want to fight with you,” he said against Suga’s skin. “I love you so much.”

Suga felt like he was going to suffocate, but he forced himself to remain in the embrace. Daichi’s warmth felt like it was burning him, and he suddenly wanted to get away.

Thankfully the doorbell rang, and Suga could pull away from the hug. He wiped his eyes while Daichi went to answer the door.

“Hey,” he heard Oikawa say as he made his way to the hall. “I’m glad I got the address right.”

Oikawa looked frightened in the doorway, his head hanging low and his fingers fidgeting.

“Suga is just about ready to leave,” Daichi said with an encouraging smile, and Suga saw how much he wanted to reach out and pat Oikawa’s shoulder.

Oikawa looked straight at Suga and smiled nervously. Suga smiled back, eyes feeling heavy and swollen. Daichi gave a final kiss on his cheek before they said their goodbyes and the door closed.

“Have you been crying?” Oikawa asked immediately.

Suga nodded.

“We had a fight,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa said and brushed Suga’s arms with his hand. “Was it a bad fight?”

“Nothing unusual,” Suga said and wiped his eyes again. “It’s okay.”

Oikawa looked at him and nodded.

*

The room was quiet. Oikawa was sitting on the bed in a hospital gown, nervously stroking the fabric of it over his thigh. Suga was sitting next to the bed on a chair, reaching out to stroke Oikawa’s arm with an encouraging smile. Oikawa tried to smile back, before letting it drop from his face.

“You’ll be fine,” Suga said.

Oikawa nodded uncertainly.

“You probably don’t want me to ask this,” Suga said then, “but are you sure?”

Oikawa nodded again, although slow and hesitant. Suga stood up to hug the omega, who gave him a sincere smile when he sat back down.

“I think Iwaizumi should have come here with you,” Suga said. “He is your alpha, after all.”

“He’ll be happy to forget that this ever happened,” Oikawa said, touching his belly gently.

Suga was already emotional from his earlier crying, and he felt tears in his eyes again as he watched Oikawa slump on the bed, hand pressed against his stomach as if to feel the life that was soon going to end. Oikawa’s hand was trembling, and Suga wished there was something he could say or do to make Oikawa feel better.

Before Suga could say anything the door to the room slammed open. Suga and Oikawa both jumped in surprise, and Suga turned to see Iwaizumi standing at the doorway, sweaty and chest heaving, eyes staring madly at Oikawa. In a blink of an eye Suga’s thoughts went from “Iwaizumi came after all” to “wait, he’s really angry.” When the alpha stepped forward, Suga’s heart sped up and he prepared to call for help, but then Iwaizumi broke down.

_He didn’t know about this?_ was a the last thought that flashed through Suga’s mind before he jumped out of the way as Iwaizumi stumbled forward and collapsed on his knees next to the bed.

Seeing the alpha cry in Oikawa’s lap letting all his emotions out was surreal, and Suga could only stare. The amount of love he saw before him was overwhelming, and suddenly he felt like he shouldn’t see.

The door opened again, and a nurse peeked in.

“Is there a problem?” she asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” Suga said. “It just appears that they hadn’t really talked this through.”

The nurse nodded in understanding.

“Let them have a moment to calm down,” she said. “I’ll be back in a minute. Call me if I’m needed sooner.”

Suga nodded in understanding and the nurse left. Suga wondered if he should leave too, but he stayed, heart aching with the scene unfolding before him. Iwaizumi’s explosive feelings were in full display, and the alpha didn’t seem embarrassed in the slightest. The couple shared their tears and a wet kiss when the nurse returned to the room. Suga smiled at Iwaizumi when the alpha turned to look at him, and he left the two alone. Iwaizumi would take Oikawa home. They would be fine. They would be happy.

There was a slight bitterness in Suga’s heart as he headed home. He thought about all the times Daichi had told him he loved him, and they felt like nothing compared to what he had just seen. He knew he shouldn’t make comparisons, but he couldn’t help feeling lonely.


	11. Tension

When it was announced that the volleyball team would go to Tokyo for a training camp, everyone was excited. Suga shared their excitement, but it also brought him worries. He had to double check the calendar to make sure his heat wouldn’t conflict with the camp, after which he triple checked it to be absolutely certain he hadn’t gotten it wrong. Then there was the nervousness of being surrounded by four teams, three of which they had never met before. Suga was used to being around alphas all the time during practise, but he was also aware of the fact that meeting new teams with many more alphas was intimidating. Meeting three new teams all at once would be overwhelming.

Then Suga checked his heat cycle again to make sure he hadn’t counted it wrong.

On the morning of the first day of training camp, before leaving home, Suga checked his cycle again. He had always been nervous about going away from home when his heat was getting relatively close, but after Oikawa’s incident with getting his heat early he was paranoid. His mother had also noticed this new nervousness, and had checked Suga’s calculations twice to convince her son that his heat would not begin before over a week after the camp was over.

During the ride to Tokyo Suga did his best to relax and convince himself that he was good enough, he had deserved his place in the team, and he was just as good as any alpha would have been.

_No, you’re not_ , said a small voice inside him, but Suga chose to ignore it. He took a deep breath and hoped that spending the ride in the same car with all the other team members would make him smell less obviously like an omega.

He had been right about how overwhelming it would be to face the other teams. When they arrived, everyone focused on them, and Suga could immediately tell that there weren’t many omegas present in the gym. He had already known that the Nekoma team were all alphas, but it seemed that the other teams were the same. He unconsciously hid behind the other members of his team to not stand out. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face all the alpha energy that was floating around the room.

Daichi was focused on being a captain to the team, and it made Suga feel lonely. He hated feeling so weak without his alpha by his side, and he was quickly starting to think that he should have stayed home. Then he happened to glance to the court next to them, and his heart skipped a beat.

The person who had caught his attention was still looking at their team, talking to Nekoma’s captain. His posture was strong like you would expect from an alpha, but his hair was wild and his presence bouncy. Suga quickly looked away, but his heart was beating fast and he couldn’t make it stop. He lifted a hand to his chest and grabbed a fistful of his jersey before peering back.

It felt like his heart sped up even more when Suga turned to look and he was met by the eyes of the alpha in question. He felt his cheeks immediately heat up, but the alpha’s glance quickly turned away. Suga continued watching him for a while, and came to the conclusion that he had simply caught him while he was looking at each player individually. He still felt the eyes on him, the deep gold colour burnt in his mind, and his knees felt weak.

“Is everything okay?” someone asked right next to Suga, causing him to jump back.

Suga turned his eyes to Tanaka, who was looking at him with his brows raised in question.

“Yes,” Suga quickly blubbered. “I think I just need some air.”

“Do you need someone to go with you?” Tanaka asked.

Suga shook his head but then changed his mind.

“Actually yes,” he said. “Could you?”

Tanaka opened his mouth but then closed it. He nodded, turned around to call out to Nishinoya, and then escorted Suga out of the gym.

Fresh air hit Suga’s face and he breathed in deep. He and Tanaka stood close to the gym door, leaning on the wall and looking into the distance.

“Too many pheromones in the air?” Tanaka asked.

“I guess so,” Suga said and gently shook his head.

_That must have been it_ , he thought. His head was clearing out in the fresh air, and his heart was settling to its normal rhythm.

“It’s probably really hard to be the only omega in the team,” Tanaka said.

Suga looked at him, but the alpha seemed to be almost talking to himself.

“It gets though,” Suga said anyway.

“I think there’s at least one omega in the gym,” Tanaka said. “I think I smelled someone other than you, but it could be a teacher.”

“Not a coach?” Suga asked and looked pointedly at Tanaka.

The alpha shrugged.

“Why not,” he said. “I just haven’t ever heard of an omega who wants to become a coach.”

Suga hummed in response and looked at the ground.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tanaka asked then. “You looked pretty bad back in there.”

“Did I?” Suga asked.

“Yeah,” Tanaka said. “Your face was so red and you looked like you might pass out.”

“Oh,” was all Suga could say.

_Did_ he _see me like that?_ he asked himself before chasing the thought away. _Did everyone see me like that?_ he corrected himself.

“Hey,” Tanaka said and waited for Suga to turn to look at him. “No one’s going to think any less of you because of this, but if you want to we can tell them that you came out here with me instead of the other way around.”

Suga blinked rapidly a couple of times.

“I’d like that,” he said quietly.

Tanaka smiled.

“I promised I’ve got your back,” he said and made silly flexing motions.

Suga laughed, and Tanaka laughed with him.

“I’m feeling better,” Suga said. “We should head back.”

“Sure?” Tanaka asked before nodding and turning around.

“Thanks,” Suga said quietly to his back.

Tanaka raised his hand in acknowledgement and they headed back to the gym.

No one really asked where they had gone, but Tanaka made sure to mention to a couple of people that he had stolen Suga for a while. Suga was certain that the team already knew why they had been absent for the moment, and he noticed Daichi looked at him, but no one brought it up.

Now that Suga was feeling calmer he looked around to spot the alpha who had caught his attention before. His team was playing, and Suga happened to see him spike the ball with impressive strength. His heart raced, and he wanted to slap himself, but he turned away to focus on their own game.

*

Very soon Suga learned that the alpha who had caught his eye was Bokuto Koutarou, Fukurodani’s captain and ace. The first two days he spent wondering whether Bokuto wore leggings or compression sleeves. He felt completely mortified when he thought about it at night, realising how closely he must have been looking to see the bit of skin exposed between the sleeve and Bokuto’s shorts. On the third day he found himself thinking about undressing Bokuto’s shorts but leaving the kneepads on, resulting in a very awkward boner in the middle of a practise game.

Suga had to excuse himself to go calm down, and as he was washing his face to help with how hot it felt, he decided he would have to do something about the situation. So, when he returned to his place, he forced himself to forget all about Bokuto, and focused on Daichi. The alpha was sweaty after playing intensely, and Suga smiled internally. He had always been attracted to worn out sweaty Daichi, so it wouldn’t be hard to keep his eyes on the boy. Daichi’s legs were muscular and thick, the most delicious part of them hidden by his shorts. But Bokuto’s legs were just as muscular, if not more. Suga shook his head and focused on Daichi. The alpha received a strong serve, entire body bending down to send the ball flying, his arms strong and desirable. Suga thought back to all the times those arms had held him in bed or outside it, the warmth of Daichi’s body leaning close to him, and he wondered what it would feel like to be embraced by Bokuto’s arms.

Suga let out a sigh. He looked up to see Bokuto looking at him and felt his face flush. Bokuto quickly turned his head away, looking slightly flustered, and Suga turned to look at Daichi, who was wiping sweat away from his forehead. Suga was biting his lip and stared at Daichi so hard he couldn’t even see him any longer.

That evening Suga pulled Daichi away from the others to a secluded location, and kissed him before the alpha could say anything. Daichi’s arms immediately wrapped around Suga and pulled him closer, their tongues rubbing against each other, and Suga felt arousal gathering inside him.

It wasn’t a surprise when Daichi broke the kiss, but Suga wanted to punch him for it.

“We can’t go further,” Daichi said quietly. “Someone could see us.”

“I don’t care,” Suga tried and rolled his hips against Daichi’s strong leg. “I need it.”

“No, sugar,” Daichi said and stroked his hair. “We can’t do it here. It’s against the rules.”

Suga softly punched Daichi on the chest and looked down, leaving his fist hanging on Daichi’s shirt.

“Besides,” the alpha continued, “I can’t have you walking around smelling as good as you do right after sex.”

Suga nodded and turned away. He let go of Daichi’s shirt and walked inside. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but Daichi wasn’t following him. He couldn’t stop himself from wondering if Bokuto would have gone all the way with him.

His thoughts were soon disrupted by a lazy voice.

“Well, if it isn’t Karasuno’s Omega-kun,” said the voice belonging to Kuroo Tetsurou.

Suga flinched at the name.

“Is that all you see in me?” he asked and looked up.

His heart immediately skipped a beat when he realised Kuroo wasn’t alone. Next to Nekoma’s captain stood Bokuto grinning in a similar way to Kuroo.

“That’s all I can smell right now,” Kuroo said with a more serious face. “You should be careful around so many alphas. Where’s your boyfriend?”

Suga’s face turned sour, and he saw Bokuto react to it with a concerned face.

“He’s the one who left me like this,” Suga said bitterly. “And I don’t need any advice from you.”

“I’m just saying,” Kuroo said and lifted his hands up in defeat. “Some of the younger alphas aren’t very good around aroused omegas.”

“Is it really that bad?” Suga asked, mostly from himself.

“It’s quite noticeable,” said Bokuto.

Suga turned to look at the alpha, whose golden eyes were looking straight at him. He swallowed.

“Oh,” he said weakly.

Bokuto turned his head away and Kuroo smirked.

“You better take care of it before wandering around aimlessly,” Kuroo said and winked.

Suga half-heartedly frowned at the alpha.

“Are you offering to be my audience?” he asked dryly.

To his amusement Bokuto’s face turned completely red and even Kuroo looked flustered. He chuckled to himself, when he suddenly noticed the unmistakable smell of alpha pheromones that made his heart beat faster and groin stir in interest. He glanced at Bokuto who looked terrified and hurriedly left without saying another word.

“Seems that you left quite an impression on him,” Kuroo said, smirk back on his face. “What a naughty omega, flirting with other alphas when your boyfriend is at the same camp.”

Suga blew some air through his nose and turned to leave.

“Don’t worry,” Kuroo yelled after him. “I won’t tell!”

Suga waved his hand and headed away. He really needed to calm down if he was aroused enough to cause such a reaction. He headed to the locker room that was empty, and sat down. As much as he hated to admit it, Kuroo had been right: it wasn’t safe for him to walk around a camp of alphas when he smelled inviting. He cursed Daichi; it would definitely be much safer to smell whatever it was he smelled like post-sex.

“Fuck everything,” Suga mumbled and turned to lie down on the hard bench.

He was hoping that staring at the ceiling would help him calm down, but he couldn’t stop thinking about his encounter with Kuroo and Bokuto. Especially Bokuto. He closed his eyes in frustration, but all his mind was showing him right now was Bokuto’s flushed face, his piercing round eyes, his body, his muscles, his scent… Suga groaned and palmed his hardening cock through his pants. He was getting wet, and he knew it wouldn’t be good to get slick on his pants, so he got up and stripped out of them.

Suga stopped to think. He had no idea how strong his smell was when he was aroused but not in heat. Would it be enough to seep past the locker room door and possibly lure in an alpha? He decided to play it safe, threw off his shirt, and headed to the showers. His buttocks were already slippery with slick that was dripping out of him, and he hoped that none of it would end up on the floor. He leaned against the wall and took his cock in hand.

Stroking slowly he wondered if he could satisfy himself with just that. Probably not, but he could always hope. Suga sped up his hand, gripping his small cock properly. It felt good to touch himself, and he suddenly realised how long it had been since he and Daichi had previously had sex. He thought back to it, how Daichi’s hands had felt all over his body, and how he had slowly penetrated Suga with his big cock, not stopping before sliding it out and back in, keeping a steady slow rhythm, exactly like he had always liked it.

Suga didn’t completely even realise it when he reached behind his balls to touch his slick entrance. The muscle twitched and he let out a quiet sigh. He slid his fingers over the pucker over and over again, teasing himself with the touch that was nearly there. His cock was wet with pre-come, causing his hand to make slick sounds with every movement. He thought about how much slicker and dirtier it sounded when Daichi was fucking him.

Suga pushed two fingers past the tight muscles, moaning quietly as his fingers sunk into the hot wet hole. He hadn’t fingered himself in quite a while and had forgotten how nice it felt to feel both sides of penetration. He thought about Daichi’s fingers that were bigger than his own. He wondered if Bokuto’s cock would be anything like Daichi’s.

It was harder to keep his voice down when Suga thought about how good Bokuto had smelled just a moment ago. If Kuroo hadn’t been there, he would have probably wasted no time dragging the alpha to the nearest closet for a fuck.

No, no, Suga told himself and shook his head. He had a boyfriend, he had Daichi, he wouldn’t cheat on Daichi, never.

Suga pushed in a third finger and couldn’t stop thinking about the way Bokuto’s legs were always hidden but so in view, what would they feel like next to his own body when Bokuto fucks him? Would Bokuto like it hard and quick, or would he stop to take his time? Suga swallowed a moan when his cock twitched in his hand, and he wanted to know how it would feel to spread his legs for Bokuto, press against the alpha’s naked chest and have his cock buried deep inside him.

Suga came with a loud sigh, drops of come spilling onto the floor and his ass tightened around his fingers. He slumped lower against the wall, knees weak and legs trembling. He was breathing hard, eyes closed and head leaning back to the wall.

When his breathing had calmed down, Suga opened his eyes and pulled his fingers out with a grunt. He turned the shower on and washed away any evidence of what he had just done. His legs were still feeling weak, and he couldn’t wait to get to sit down. He had no towel with him, so he tried to shake his legs dry before sitting on his shirt on the locker room bench. He immediately slumped forward, elbows resting on his knees and head hanging low. He stared at the floor.

What he had just done was starting to sink in, and it was hard to believe. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but when he opened his eyes he still felt tears in them. He swallowed.

Calm down, he told himself, but it was hard, if not impossible. He had just jerked off to the thought of someone else than Daichi, and he didn’t know how to handle it.

“Daichi is my boyfriend,” he whispered to the empty room.

Yet he had thought about another alpha while he had his fingers deep inside himself.

Suga spent the rest of the evening crying in the darkening room.


	12. Fight

It was getting hard to breathe, and Suga gasped for air. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there just crying, and he definitely didn’t want to know. It was a miracle he had been left alone, as he would have imagined Daichi would look for him if he was missing.

Maybe he doesn’t really care, a thought managed to slither in to his mind before he chased it away. Daichi probably knew exactly what he had left to do, and wanted to give him time and space to do it. Suga sniffled at the thought of his boyfriend being so strict about them having sex in school but still allowing him to do what he wanted.

If only Daichi knew what he had been thinking about.

Suga’s heart sank and a new wave of whimpers washed over him. He had always had his eyes on Daichi, always thought about the alpha when he was needy and alone, and while he had known it was too early for him to know how his life would turn out, he had kind of thought that he and Daichi would last forever.

A soft knock on the door startled Suga, and he turned to look when the door opened and Tanaka peeked inside.

“Suga-san?” the boy asked and blushed when he realised Suga was naked.

Suga turned his head away, determined to not let anyone disturb his grieving, and waited for Tanaka to close the door and leave. Soon enough he heard the door closing, but he also heard Tanaka in the room.

“Is something wrong?” the alpha asked.

Suga shook his head but sniffled at the same time, a single tear dropping down onto the floor.

“Did something bad happen?” Tanaka asked cautiously.

Suga whimpered and covered his face with his hands. He really wanted Tanaka to leave but he couldn’t bring himself to produce words. Tanaka stepped forward hesitantly.

“Should I get help?” he asked.

Suga vigorously shook his head, and Tanaka stayed still for a moment longer, before approaching slowly, and finally sitting down on the bench a short distance away.

“Did someone touch you?” Tanaka asked, his voice nearly a whisper.

Shaking his head was the only way Suga could properly communicate at the moment, so he shook his head yet again, wiping his face with his hands.

“You wouldn’t lie about it, would you?” Tanaka asked, and Suga finally turned to look at him.

The alpha’s face was almost fearful, his mouth a nervous thin line, eyes wide and brows furrowed.

“It’s my own fault,” Suga managed with a thick voice.

Tanaka’s frown deepened and he leaned slightly forward.

“No, it’s not your fault,” he said quickly. “No one should touch you without your permission, no matter what you do or say.”

Suga shook his head again and swallowed.

“No,” he said. “No one touched me.”

Tanaka cocked his head and lifted his brows. The deep concerned lines around his eyes smoothed out.

“I messed up,” Suga sniffled. “It’s my fault.”

“What did you do?” Tanaka asked. “Did you cheat on Daichi?”

Suga let out a sniff that could have been laughter. He turned his head away, shaking it in thought.

“I didn’t sleep with anyone, if that’s what you’re asking,” he said.

“Then I don’t really understand,” Tanaka said.

Suga glanced at the boy who looked utterly confused and cracked a smile.

“If you don’t want to talk to me,” Tanaka started, but Suga straightened his posture and waved him to stop.

“I’m so confused,” he said. “I jerked off.”

“Okay,” Tanaka said slowly.

Suga wiped his eyes and sniffled.

“I wasn’t thinking about Daichi,” he said.

There was a moment of silence before Tanaka spoke.

“Do you mean you thought about someone else?” he asked. “Isn’t that normal?”

“I’ve never,” Suga started, but a whine stopped him from completing the sentence.

“Hey,” Tanaka said and placed a hand on Suga’s shoulder. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. You know, people have crushes all the time, and it doesn’t have to mean they’re going to act on it.”

“But I never thought I could want someone else,” Suga mumbled.

“That’s pretty admirable for a teenager,” Tanaka said with a laugh, and Suga smiled too. “I’m more worried about learning that you haven’t felt that before.”

“It’s scary,” Suga said quietly. “I never really thought much about the future. I expected it to sort itself out.”

“Are you implying that this crush could be something serious?” Tanaka asked.

Suga flinched at the question.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t want it to be, but I also…”

Suga let his voice fade. He didn’t know what to think. He had never had to think about such things before.

“Do you love Daichi?” Tanaka asked.

Suga opened his mouth to immediately say yes, but something stopped him. He thought about how it felt when he was close to Daichi. He thought back to what it had felt like when they started going out. There was a difference, but when had it changed? When he thought about Daichi, he thought about warmth and familiarity, which was definitely a pleasant feeling. But he also thought about all the things that bothered him about Daichi, the things that had been driving him crazy ever since the beginning, and he-

”No,” Suga said to himself before he remembered what Tanaka had just asked him. ”I mean yes, of course I love him.”

Tanaka didn’t say anything but Suga could tell he wasn’t convinced.

”This crush on Boku- on someone else is just a silly crush,” Suga said. ”It doesn’t change my feelings for Daichi.”

Tanaka looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before nodding.

”That’s right,” he said. ”You have nothing to worry about.”

Suga felt like he hesitated for a moment too long before turning to Tanaka with a smile, but the alpha didn’t comment on it.

”Thank you,” Suga said. ”I feel better.”

”And I would feel better if you had some clothes on,” Tanaka said with a soft red tint on his cheeks.

Suga turned to look at his lap, as if he hadn’t noticed he was still naked.

”Yeah,” he laughed and started pulling his underwear on.

Suga had figured that Tanaka would leave now that their conversation was over, but the alpha stayed, head turned away but still next to Suga.

”How is Oikawa doing?” he asked suddenly.

Suga stopped to look at the alpha whose cheeks had reddened considerably.

”He’s okay,” Suga said slowly.

Tanaka stayed quiet for a moment and Suga finished pulling his sweatpants on before reaching for his shirt.

”I can’t stop thinking about it,” Tanaka finally said with a weak voice. ”I can’t get it out of my head.”

”If you’re worried about Oikawa thinking that you took advantage of him, you shouldn’t,” Suga said and pulled his moist shirt on. ”He hasn’t really said anything about it, but from the way he thinks he cheated on Iwaizumi with you I gather that he blames himself much more than he blames you.”

Tanaka groaned and covered his eyes with fists.

”He shouldn’t,” he said. ”He should blame me.”

”Tanaka,” Suga said gently, and the alpha turned to look at him. ”What’s going on?”

Tanaka looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.

”Do you think he would agree to see me?” the alpha asked then. ”I’d really like to talk to him and apologise.”

”I’ll ask him,” Suga said and smiled. ”I don’t know if he really wants to, but I’ll ask.”

”Thank you,” Tanaka said. ”I really want him to know that I understand.”

Suga raised his brows in question, but Tanaka looked away before standing up.

”Let’s go back to the others,” he said, voice suddenly as cheerful as ever.

Suga was curious, but let it slide, and he followed Tanaka out of the locker room.

*

The next day was not easy for Suga. He tried his hardest to believe himself when he said that he only had eyes for Daichi, but it was difficult when Bokuto was on the next court, or their opponent, and his eyes were always searching for the alpha.

”You stupid idiot,” Suga whispered to himself.

Hinata turned to look at him in confusion, and Suga quickly apologised. He would have to pull himself together soon, or he would not enjoy the rest of the training camp very much. He tried his best to focus on the game, but everyone’s attention was soon drawn to Bokuto, who seemed to have suddenly lost all his good spirits. Suga was just as confused as everyone else, but he was certain that nobody else’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of Bokuto slumping, wandering around the court, his expressionless eyes following the ball as it bounced back and forth.

I want to make him feel confident again, Suga thought to himself, and his mind was already coming up with different possibilities for making Bokuto forget about whatever it was that had put him on this odd mood. His face heated up when most of his thoughts were sexual and intimate, and he prayed that no one would notice what he was thinking about.

Seeing Bokuto bounce back from his slump and spike a strong ball made Suga’s knees buckle, and he had to close his eyes for a moment to keep his head together. He spent the rest of the game staring at a single dot on the court, forcing his thoughts to stop whenever they started going again.

Daichi didn’t seem surprised when Suga pulled him aside again that evening, immediately pressing his entire body flush against the alpha’s sweaty body and pulling his head down for a heated kiss. Daichi indulged him for a moment, kissed him back, but cut it short.

“Koushi,” Daichi said, his voice low and pleasant, and Suga wanted to feel the vibrations of it on his body. “You know we can’t do it here.”

Suga let out a frustrated noise and pushed Daichi away with more strength that he had anticipated, sending the alpha a couple of steps back. He turned his back at Daichi’s confused face and hurried away, hands pressed into tight fists by his sides and blinking rapidly to keep the tears away.

*

After the second refusal Suga stopped trying. He knew he was being childish and overly demanding, he knew that Daichi was right, but he didn’t want to accept it. He needed his alpha, he needed reassurance, but he wasn’t getting it. He avoided Daichi as much as he possibly could, turning down any invitations to spend time with the alpha, and sat alone rather than spending time with the rest of the team.

He was lonely, there was no denying it, but he needed to take the distance, he reassured himself. He watched from afar how the others were chatting happily, even Tsukishima allowing himself to be pulled in to the fun, and he hid behind the corner to sulk. He checked his phone, but there were no new messages. Oikawa had been relatively quiet since he and Iwaizumi had reconciled at the hospital, and Suga was starting to feel like he had been abandoned.

Shaking his head Suga decided to call Oikawa.

“Suga-chan!” came the quick reply with a cheery voice. “It’s been a while!”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Suga said and smiled at the way Oikawa’s voice made him feel just a bit sunnier. “I just wanted to ask you how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine,” Oikawa said, and for once it was easy to believe. “Iwa-chan and I have been talking about the baby and when we should tell other people, and it’s really scary, but at least I have him with me.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Suga said. “How do you think your parents will take it?”

Oikawa thought for a moment.

“Maybe they’ll be relieved to know why I’ve been acting a bit off,” he finally said. “I know I want to pretend that they haven’t noticed, but they probably have.”

“I’m sure they’ll be happy to get a grandchild,” Suga said with a smile.

“They’ll probably tell me it’s way too early,” Oikawa said, “but you know. What’s done is done, and it was an accident.”

“Mm,” Suga agreed.

“How are you?” Oikawa asked.

“I’m at the training camp still,” Suga started carefully.

“Is it a lot of fun?” Oikawa asked enthusiastically. “I wish I was at camp too!”

Suga laughed.

“It’s been fun, yes,” he said. “Although we keep losing.”

“Well, better luck next time, right?” Oikawa said. “Have you been sneaking in any private time with Sawamura?”

Suga felt a lump in his throat, and couldn’t immediately answer.

“He’s against it,” he finally said before Oikawa had time to take the question back.

“Oh?” Oikawa asked. “That’s right, he’s Mr. Vanilla, isn’t he. Poor you, though.”

“Yeah, poor me,” Suga mumbled.

“Is something wrong?” Oikawa asked. “You don’t really sound like yourself.”

Suga thought for a moment.

“No,” he then said. “Everything’s fine.”

“If you say so,” Oikawa said, but didn’t sound convinced. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“Yes, of course,” Suga said, nodding to himself. “Ah, that’s right. I was talking to Tanaka the other day, and he would like to see you.”

It was Oikawa’s turn to go quiet.

“He feels really bad about what happened,” Suga continued, “and I think he wants to apologise properly.”

“He already did,” Oikawa said quietly. “Tell him to stop worrying.”

“I already did,” Suga said. “He said he really wants you to know that he understands how you feel. I don’t know what he means with that, but he did seem very serious.”

Oikawa stayed quiet for a while, and Suga gave him time to think.

“I can’t say right now,” the omega finally said. “I’ll have to think about it.”

“You know you don’t have to see him all alone,” Suga said. “I can be there too.”

“Thank you,” Oikawa said. “I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll let him know.”

They exchanged some more words about volleyball before saying goodbye. Suga felt like his heart had lost weight during the phone call, and he smiled to himself. He leaned against the wall and looked up to the blue sky.

“There you are,” Daichi’s voice startled Suga, when the alpha turned the corner. “I was looking for you.”

“Now you found me,” Suga said and looked down to the ground.

“Koushi, I think we should talk,” Daichi said.

Suga didn’t look at the alpha.

“Later,” he said. “I don’t want to talk here.”

“But I need to know,” Daichi insisted. “Have I done something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?”

“Why don’t you think about that,” Suga said and tried to leave, but Daichi took a hold of his arm.

“Wait, Koushi,” the alpha said. “You’re clearly upset with me. I’m not stupid.”

“Yeah,” Suga said and tried to pull his arm free to no avail.

“You can’t seriously be upset that I won’t have sex with you while we’re here?” Daichi asked, still keeping a firm hold of Suga’s arm.

“It’s a valid reason to be upset,” Suga said. “Let me go.”

Suga was struggling, but Daichi’s hold was firm. Suga finally looked at the alpha, whose eyes were on him.

“Daichi, let go,” Suga repeated, but nothing happened. “You’re hurting me.”

“Have I done something wrong?” the alpha asked. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it.”

“Let go of me,” Suga tried again, voice rising.

“I’ll fix it,” Daichi repeated.

“Let go, Daichi,” Suga yelled and pulled.

This time the alpha did let go, and Suga stumbled backwards, falling onto the ground with a thump.

“What’s going on here?” came Kuroo’s voice as he approached them.

“Nothing,” Daichi said, looking down to Suga who was still lying on the ground.

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” said Bokuto, who had followed.

Suga felt like crying, and he wanted everyone to leave. He wasn’t happy to see that Fukurodani’s setter Akaashi was also following Kuroo, and he could see other people turning to see what was going on. He sat up, inspecting his arm that was stinging from where Daichi had held him.

“Are you okay?” Akaashi asked and crouched down to Suga’s level.

“I’m fine,” Suga said angrily and stood up.

“You can’t mistreat your omega like that,” Kuroo was telling Daichi, who had turned to look at him now that Suga was standing.

“Shut up!” Suga yelled, and everyone turned to look at him.

Suga’s hands were fists by his sides, and he swallowed to keep tears away as his lips trembled. All of his good mood had vanished, and he wanted to be back at home.

“I don’t need you to protect me,” he said, surprising himself with how stable his voice was. “I can take care of myself.”

“But he’s your alpha,” Kuroo said. “He shouldn’t hurt you.”

“Obviously he shouldn’t,” Suga said in return, “but you don’t need to hurry to my rescue.”

“Koushi,” Daichi started but shut his mouth when Suga turned to look at him.

“You can’t fix it,” he said very clearly, making sure that the alpha heard every word, before turning to leave.

Daichi opened his mouth but didn’t say anything. Suga heard Kuroo start lecturing Daichi about how alphas should always be mindful of how much weaker omegas were, and he really wanted to be anywhere but there. He heard someone following him. He didn’t like it at all.

Suga walked right past the rest of his team, who had settled down to see what had happened. He headed straight towards the building where they were sleeping, hoping that whoever was following him would leave him be. Instead the person took a couple of running steps to catch up to him.

“Do you want to talk to a teacher?” Akaashi asked.

“No,” Suga snapped.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” Akaashi asked, and stopped Suga with a gentle touch to his shoulder.

“I’m not hurt,” Suga said, but couldn’t help his eyes tearing up.

“What happened?” Akaashi continued. “Did he push you?”

Suga shook his head, trying his hardest to keep the tears from falling.

“We just had a fight, that’s all,” he said quietly.

“It looked pretty bad,” Akaashi said. “You sounded scared.”

Suga stopped to think about that. Had he been scared? He had thought he was more angry, but had he really yelled at Daichi so loud Kuroo and Bokuto had heard him?

“Did you smell it?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Akaashi said. “I’m omega.”

Suga looked at the boy standing in front of him. He had thought that Akaashi might not be an alpha, but had forgotten all about it once Bokuto had taken his attention.

“Oh,” Suga said. “I’m glad I’m not the only one.”

Akaashi smiled gently, and Suga was almost certain it was the first time he had seen the boy with any kind of soft expression on his face.

“Do you ever feel like everyone treats you like you’re some kind of a delicate artefact?” Suga asked.

Akaashi nodded.

“I think it makes alphas feel more confident,” he said. “It’s in their nature to protect omegas.”

“I hate it,” Suga said quietly. “I wish I was an alpha instead.”

Akaashi looked at him with sympathy.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” he asked then. “And that you don’t want to tell a teacher?”

“I’m sure,” Suga said. “I just want to be alone.”

Akaashi thought for a while but then nodded, and headed back to the others. Suga turned back towards where he had been going, and stepped inside.


	13. The End

When Suga returned home, he was relieved that the camp was over. However, his fight with Daichi wasn’t. He hadn’t talked to Daichi at all during the last couple of days at the camp, and Daichi had let him be. He was thankful, but he also knew that eventually he would have to talk to the alpha.

There wasn’t much time to waste either, because Suga’s heat was approaching fast. So, a day after the camp Suga went over to Daichi’s place to talk.

It stung to see how surprised Daichi was when Suga entered his room. No matter how angry he was, he still deeply cared about the alpha and didn’t want to make him sad.

”Hi,” Suga said quietly and smiled.

”I missed you,” was the first thing Daichi said.

The alpha hurried over to hug Suga, and Suga let him. He didn’t return the hug, but he wouldn’t have been able to anyway; Daichi was hugging his arms immobile against his sides.

When Daichi let go, they sat down.

”I’m sorry, Daichi,” Suga said, eyes cast down. ”I’ve been really nasty to you.”

”It’s okay,” the alpha immediately replied and smiled.

”You shouldn’t just accept it,” Suga said, but couldn’t help smiling at the way Daichi looked so happy.

”I’ve been difficult to you too,” Daichi pointed out. ”Of course you would eventually get enough.”

”That’s not it,” Suga started, but didn’t want to finish.

He looked at his boyfriend, how Daichi looked so eager now that they were together again, and tried to picture what the alpha would look like if he told him the truth.

”What is it, then?” Daichi asked, looking concerned.

Suga stayed quiet. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to be honest, but he was also already hormonal, and wanted to make sure he would have a mate for when his heat started.

”I’m getting my heat soon,” he finally said.

Daichi looked a bit surprised, but then thoughtful.

”Yes,” he then said. ” You’re right, it’s time soon. I guess that explains it.”

Suga looked at Daichi, and a part of him wondered if the alpha realised that it was a stretch to blame his behaviour on hormones.

“So,” Suga said, trying his best to not sound as awkward as he felt, “your place or mine?”

“Isn’t it your turn to be my guest?” Daichi asked with a smirk.

“I guess so,” Suga said quietly.

He didn’t feel at ease at all, and he was certain that Daichi could tell it. The alpha was looking at him with so much love that he couldn’t even face it.

“I only came here for that,” Suga said and tried to get up.

“Wait, Koushi,” Daichi said, grabbing Suga’s arm.

Suga jerked his arm away from Daichi’s grip without thinking. The alpha looked absolutely miserable.

“I’m sorry, sugar,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I was just so scared that I was losing you.”

Suga couldn’t look at Daichi any longer. He didn’t want to hear the words either.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Daichi repeated, looking pleadingly at Suga.

Suga swallowed.

“I know,” he said. “You’re probably the best alpha in the entire world.”

Before Daichi could say anything, Suga leaned forward and placed his lips over Daichi’s mouth. He didn’t deepen the kiss, his lips brushing against the alpha’s, a slight tremble between them, and it tasted salty like tears.

“I need to go now,” Suga said. “I’ll see you later.”

He left, and Daichi didn’t try to stop him.

*

When Suga went to heat, he was safely at Daichi’s place. They had gotten lucky, and Daichi’s parents were gone. It was just the two of them, but they had mainly staid in Daichi’s bedroom. Suga had been unconsciously trying to build some kind of a nest in Daichi’s bed, arranging his blanket and pillows to more comfortably accommodate them both. He was lying down half-clothed, head resting on Daichi’s shirt when he felt the first wave of arousal hit him.

Suga groaned quietly, but it was enough to get Daichi’s attention. The alpha turned to look at the bed, but didn’t move yet. Suga’s body was slowly heating up, his cock hardening and slick accumulating to his entrance, but it hadn’t gotten uncomfortable yet. He sighed and turned to lie on his back, brought a hand up to his chest and teased a nipple with his fingers. Suga had always enjoyed the first moments of heat, when the sensitivity of his body was just right, and he often wanted to spend that time alone, feel his body wake up and touch himself.

“Koushi,” he heard Daichi whine, and turned to look at the alpha. “Your scent is driving me crazy.”

Suga didn’t say anything. He stretched on the bed, shirt rising up to expose his hips and stomach, and placed his hands on his body, letting them slide over the fabric of his shirt to leave a touch on him.

“Soon,” he told Daichi and palmed his small cock through his underwear.

Daichi groaned but stay put, eyes fixated on Suga’s hands sliding all over the omega’s body. Suga slowly pushed his pants down to his thighs, cock springing free. He slid a hand over his hips, right to the base of his cock, touching the shaft with soft fingertips. Daichi whined quietly, and Suga could sense the tension in the alpha’s body, waiting for a permission to finally act on his urges.

His entire body tingling Suga sighed again and kicked his pants away. He liked the way the fabric of his shirt rubbed on his body, and didn’t really want to take it off. He weighed his options, when a new wave of arousal took over him, and it was his turn to whine.

“Daichi,” he called out to the alpha, who was immediately on the bed next to him.

Suga sat up on the bed and turned around, positioning himself on his hands and knees, legs wide to show off his glistening entrance.

“Take me, Daichi,” he said, looking back at the alpha whose eyes were fixated on his ass.

“From behind?” Daichi asked.

If Suga wasn’t already getting impatient he might have laughed at how confused the alpha sounded. Now, however, he simply lowered his upper body on the bed and reached back to spread his ass cheeks apart to give Daichi a better view of his twitching hole.

“Please, Daichi,” Suga whined. “Don’t make me wait.”

He was expecting the alpha to immediately jump out of his clothes and sink inside, but Daichi didn’t move. Suga caressed the puckered skin around his entrance to hopefully entice Daichi into forgetting whatever it was he was thinking about, slipping a finger just past the tightness to make it easier on himself to wait.

“I don’t want to take you from behind,” Daichi then said.

Suga couldn’t believe it. He vaguely remembered Daichi once telling him that the idea of doing it from behind made him feel uneasy, how cold and hollow it seemed, but right now he wanted nothing more than to be mounted from behind, to feel his face press into the pillow that smelled like alpha, and he wanted it so desperately he was practically shoving his ass to Daichi’s face.

“Daichi,” Suga said with a harsh tone. “Fuck me now!”

Daichi still didn’t move, and Suga felt frustration mix in with the desperate yearning of his heat.

“Do it!” he tried to command, voice heavy with feeling and teeth clenched.

“I can’t do it like this,” Daichi said.

Suga let out a scream that rose right from his core, eyes teary and body on fire.

“Do it, Daichi,” he yelled.

“No,” Daichi said sternly before continuing. “What kind of an omega are you? You should be submissive to me.”

Suga didn’t say anything, he felt like he was unable to produce words, so he simply screamed at Daichi, who reluctantly got up from the bed and left the room. Suga’s body was aching, he was sweating and his limbs were heavy with arousal. He fell sideways onto the bed, sobs tearing through his body, and he didn’t know which feeling was the strongest. His head was swimming and his eyes unable to focus, and he took a hold of his dripping cock with a sob. He started jerking off, and came almost immediately, semen dripping onto his body and the sheets that smelled like alpha.

Suga pressed his face closer to the smell on the tear-stained pillow. He reached to his ass and pushed three fingers inside. The tightness was a shock to him, but it was the kind of a shock he welcomed, the stretch immediately making him much more satisfied, and he scissored his fingers to feel more. His screams turned to moans, which in turn morphed to sobs, and he worked himself as well as he could. All the while his mind was restlessly searching for an alpha, no matter who it was, he needed an alpha. He needed a knot to bind him to an alpha, he needed so much more than his fingers were giving him, and the memory of Daichi’s knot made his chest tighten.

When Suga finally came with a sob and a moan, his body relaxed, but the longing for an alpha remained. He was too tired to cry any longer, so he lay still, breathing heavily, and quiet, body softening before it would require more. His shirt was soaked with sweat and he wanted it off, but moving was too difficult. He wanted more. He wanted to feel like he was important.

The door opened and Daichi stepped inside. Suga couldn’t turn his head to look at him, but the smell made his heart speed up with want. He couldn’t focus on anything but the alpha pheromones in the air, and his cock jerked as more slick slid out of his opening.

“Have you calmed down?” Daichi asked.

Suga didn’t answer. Moving his mouth would have been way too hard. He sniffled. He smelled Daichi step closer and felt the bed give when the alpha sat down.

“I’m sorry, sugar,” Daichi said and stroked a path down Suga’s leg.

The touch burnt, and Suga could only focus on the want he felt. He needed to be touched, he needed to feel big alpha hands on his body, and he needed a knot inside him. He wanted to beg for Daichi to touch him, but couldn’t bring himself to speak. Instead he looked at the alpha, who was still fully dressed, sitting on the bed by his side, and he was so overcome with emotion he burst to tears.

“It’s okay,” Daichi said quietly and bent down to kiss Suga’s hips.

Daichi’s lips were soft and the kiss hot, the touch melting on Suga’s heated skin, and Daichi kissed a trail down to Suga’s knee before pulling the sweaty shirt off of Suga’s heavy body. Daichi’s hands were immediately on Suga, fingers finding the two erect nipples, and Suga moaned through his tears. Daichi kissed Suga’s stomach, his sides, licked on the salty skin, and quickly tossed his own clothes to the floor.

Daichi placed himself between Suga’s legs, properly turning the omega to his back, before lifting his hips and pressing his heavy cock against the slick entrance. Suga looked up at him with unfocused eyes, the burning in his core intensifying, and Daichi looked sad when he pushed the tip past the tight rim. Suga moaned at the stretch of it, and Daichi pressed inside until he was fully sheathed inside the tightness. Suga tried to reach out a hand to pull Daichi closer, but it was heavy, so he let it drop back to the bed.

For a while time seemed to stand still as Daichi looked at Suga, who could hardly focus his eyes. Then, finally, Daichi rolled his hips, and Suga immediately moaned. Daichi took a moment before finding the right kind of movement, and Suga’s back was arching with every thrust of Daichi’s cock. The alpha bent down and kissed Suga’s neck, lips grasping on the sweaty skin, small licks of his tongue joining in, and Suga couldn’t keep quiet with the stimulation. He found just enough strength to lift his arms and place his hands on Daichi’s back. The feeling of the alpha’s muscles moving beneath his skin as he fucked Suga with long, slow thrusts added to the pleasure, and Suga thought that nothing could be better than this.

When Suga came it was intense, and he was almost certain he blacked out for a while. The next thing he knew was Daichi’s knot tearing him open, and the feeling of it was enough to send him over the edge a fourth time. He clutched to Daichi as the alpha’s seed filled his hole, enjoying the grunt Daichi let out as he came, and he wanted to stay like that forever. His eyes were closed and he listened to Daichi’s laboured breaths slowly settling down. He didn’t let go when the alpha tried to roll over, but neither of them said anything.

The silence was heavy between them, but Suga felt reassured by the fact that he couldn’t see Daichi’s face when he was wrapped around the alpha’s body. Daichi was lying on top of him, not bothering to move after Suga refused to let go, his knot slowly melting away and his semen trickling down Suga’s ass to the sheets. It was warm, their skins sweaty against each other, but Suga didn’t want to let go.

When the second wave of heat got to Suga some time later, Daichi simply had to guide his cock into Suga’s tight hole, and they were ready to go again. This time Daichi moved fast, hips slapping against Suga’s ass, groans dripping from his lips as Suga rolled his hips to meet every thrust. It was different from any other time they had slept together, each movement sloppy but full of unnamed emotion, and they didn’t look at each other once before Daichi was firmly knotted inside Suga again. Suga’s seed was sticky between their bodies, sweat slowly melting it away, and Suga’s arms dropped down to the bed with exhaustion. Daichi lifted his head up and glanced at Suga before rolling over and pulling the omega with him.

They looked into each other’s eyes. Suga felt that both of them knew exactly what needed to be said, but neither of them was ready to say it out loud. They looked at each other until sleepiness made Suga’s eyelids so heavy he couldn’t keep them open anymore. Suga fell asleep with Daichi’s cock still deeply rooted inside him.

*

It wasn’t completely dark when Suga woke up, and he wondered if it was evening or morning. He blinked and wanted to go back to sleep, but something kept him awake. He turned to his side to look at Daichi, who was sleeping next to him. Daichi looked softer with his eyes closed and naked body wrapped around the blanket, his cheek pressing into the pillow and his mouth slightly open. He looked softer but still like an alpha. Strong and soft, and Suga had always been drawn to that. Suga looked at Daichi asleep, and while his heart was filled with tenderness and love to the alpha, he knew it was different. It was missing the want it used to have. When he looked at Daichi, he knew that this was not the alpha he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

It was painful to think about, but it was time to do something about it. He thought back to their sex, and felt like a cheater because he wasn’t in love anymore. When Daichi looked at him, his eyes were so filled with love it made Suga’s heart break to think about. He hadn’t been able to return that gaze in a long time, and now he was sure he would never be able to return it.

Daichi’s back was turned to him, and Suga could have turned around too, but for the one last time he wrapped his arm around Daichi’s body and pressed close to his sleepy warmth. Daichi smelled familiar, and he wanted to cry. He nuzzled his face against Daichi’s neck, left a soft kiss on the skin, and let himself drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic turned out way longer than I thought, and also much more detailed. It was pretty hard to write, frustrating at times, but finally it's done!
> 
> There's still going to be a second fic about Suga and his love life, but I need to focus on other things first.
> 
> I have [a dedicated writing blog](http://mean-whalewrites.tumblr.com) but also sometimes talk about writing [on twitter](http://twitter.com/mean_whale), but to follow me on twitter please be over 18!


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